Fandom

Sonic News Network

Birth of a Salesman/Transcript

< Birth of a Salesman

12,266pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

<< Previous episode

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
Birth of a Salesman

Next episode >>

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Birth of a Salesman".

[The episode begins with a view outside Dr. Robotnilk's fortress, where inside, Robotnik is once again reading Scratch and Grounder the riot act after their latest failed attempt to capture Sonic.]

Dr. Robotnik [heard offscreen]: Nincombots! Metal morons! Idiots!

[Inside Robotnik's fortress, Robotnik is pacing back and forth as he insults Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: Robotic rejects! Sadicious slabs of uncelubrius circuitry! You... you... you nincombots!

[Scratch points to Robotnik with his right index finger.]

Scratch: Excuse me, your viciousness, you already said that.

[Robotnik presses his head against Scratch's.]

Robotnik: Then allow me to repeat myself yet again; you are nincombots!

[The force of Robotnik's scream turns Grounder's head backwards. Robotnik walks away, then Grounder turns both his drills into hands. His left grabs his nose, and his right grabs the back of his head, and he uses both to turn his head back clockwise. Robotnik backs up and sits down in a chair.]

Robotnik: How am I ever going to get rid of Sonic with such unreliable help?

[Just then, the doorbell rings at Robotnik's front door.]

Wes Weasely [heard offscreen]: Hello, uh, you in there?

[Wes Weasely knocks at the door.]

Wes Weasely [heard offscreen]: Hello? Hello?

[Wes Weasely rings the doorbell again. Grounder, who has turned his left hand back into a drill, rolls up to the door, and attempts to open it with his right hand, but Wes Weasely opens it with his right hand, and Grounder gets pushed by the door and crushed in between it and the wall.]

Wes Weasely: How are you, how are you, how are you?

[Wes Weasely is revealed to be carrying a suitcase in his left hand. He runs in, and shakes Scratch's right hand with his right hand.]

Wes Weasely: Ha ha! Wes Weasley's the name! Selling's the game! Ha ha!

[Wes Weasely runs away, and Scratch's right hand is now sore. Wes Weasely runs up to Robotnik and shakes his right hand with his right hand.]

Wes Weasely: You need it, I got it! Don't got it, i'll get it! Ha ha!

[Wes Weasely runs away. He then runs towards the wall Grounder is stuck to, as the door moves back. He then shakes Grounder's right drill with his right hand, but Grounder's right arm breaks off. Grounder then jumps off the wall and stares in shock.]

Grounder: [yells]
Wes Weasely: Oop, sorry about that, palsie. Heh. Better have that looked at.

[Wes Weasely puts his left hand on Grounder's left shoulder, and puts Grounder's right arm back on his right shoulder by its drill. Grounder stares in shock at it.]

Grounder: Huh?

[Wes Weasely is now standing near Robotnik and Scratch as Grounder rolls up to them.]

Wes Weasely: You say you need reliable help? Well, say no more, friend! Look no further! Go no farther!

[Wes Weasely's suitcase now grows a set of table legs as he sets it down. He then pulls out a STOP sign, which he is holding in his right hand, which he tosses aside.]

Wes Weasely: Because I represent the H.D.S.V.A.D.L. Company! That's right!

[Wes Weasely forms the shapes of the letters he spells out with his body.]

Wes Weasely: H, D, S, V, A, D, L!

[Wes Weasely then presses his body against Robotnik's.]

Wes Weasely: And that stands for, "Handy Dandy Super Villain Appliance Distributors Limited"! Heh!

[Wes Weasely runs away, and Robotnik growls. Wes Weasley then opens his suitcase and steps back, as an entire sales floor emerges from the suitcase, complete with a banner that has the H.D.S.V.A.D.L. company's logo on it.]

Wes Weasely: With my gadgets, your problem is solved!

[Wes Weasely runs up to Scratch and Grounder. He puts his left arm around Scratch's shoulders, and his right arm around Grounder's shoulders.]

Wes Weasely: Even with stupeniks!

[Wes Weasely runs away.]

Scratch: I don't like this guy!
Grounder: Me neither!

[Robotnik walks angrily up to Wes Weasely, pointing to the palm of his right hand with his left index finger.]

Robotnik: Listen, Weasely, you are brash, arrogant, obnoxious, pushy, rude, and you dress funny!

[Robotnik leans up to Wes Weasely and puts his left hand on his left shoulder.]

Robotnik: You're my kind of guy!

[Scratch and Grounder look at each other.]

Scratch and Grounder: We love him!
Robotnik: What have you got?
Wes Weasely: To catch a pesky groundhog?

[Wes Weasely walks away as Robotnik stomps his feet furiously.]

Robotnik: Hedgehog! Hedgehog! Sonic the Hedgehog!

[Robotnik pulls out a picture of Sonic that has Sonic's autograph on it with his right hand, and points to it with his left index finger. The autograph says, TO ROBOTNIK LOVE SONIC. Wes Weasely is now standing near his sales floor and opens a drawer with his right hand.]

Wes Weasely: I'm way ahead of you, friend.

[Wes Weasely rummages through the drawer and pulls out the Darkenator, which he is holding in both his hands.]

Wes Weasely: Presenting the H.D.S.V.A.D.L. Darkenator! Heh!

[Wes Weasely sets the Darkenator down.]

Wes Weasely: Where there's light, there won't be for long, with the Darkenator! Heh. Let me show you how it works.

[Wes Weasley hits one of the switches on the Darkenator with his right foot. A dark cloud forms over Robotnik's fortress, and Scratch trembles in fear.]

Grounder [heard offscreen]: Hey! Who turned out the lights?
Scratch: I'm scared of the dark! Hold me!

[Scratch jumps into Robotnik's arms, and then Grounder does the same.]

Grounder: Hold me!
Robotnik: Get off of me, you chicken-hearted robo-clown!

[Robotnik tosses Scratch and Grounder aside, and they land with a crash.]

Grounder: Oh!
Wes Weasely: Okay, enough free demonstration.

[Wes Weasely hits a switch on the Darkenator with his right foot, turning the Darkenator off. The dark cloud floats away.]

Wes Weasely: What do you think?
Robotnik: I love it! Even Sonic has to slow down in the dark! How much?
Wes Weasely: For you, Doc, it's the one-time special half price!

[Wes Weasely pulls out a sign that says, 1/2 OFF in red letters, which he is holding in his right hand.]

Wes Weasely: One hundred thousand Mobiums!
Dr. Robotnik: What?!
Wes Weasely: It's the smart choice, palley. I'll even throw in two pairs of these nifty infra-red goggles!

[Wes Weasely pulls out a pair of infra-red goggles, which he is holding in his right hand.]

Scratch: What for?

[Wes Weasely runs up to Scratch and touches his body with his left index finger.]

Wes Weasely: If you can see in the dark, and Sonic can't, even you can catch him!

[Wes Weasely runs away. Robotnik then walks up to him and shakes his right hand with both his hands.]

Robotnik: I'll take it!

[The screen then transitions to a view of a hill as Sonic runs down the path. Scratch and Grounder, who are hiding behind a tree, peer out from behind it. Scratch points towards Sonic with his right thumb.]

Scratch: Here comes the hedgehog! Bwhaha!

[Scratch walks out from behind the tree, holding the Darkenator's nozzle in his left hand.]

Scratch: Activate the Darkenator!

[Grounder rolls up to the Darkenator and turns the switch to the ON position with his right drill. A dark cloud forms over Sonic, who looks up.]

Sonic: Whoa!

[Sonic screeches to a halt.]

Sonic: I've heard of darkness creeping in, but this is ridiculous!
Grounder: I think the Darkenator sprung a leak!
Scratch: Quick! Put on the see-in-the-dark glasses!
Grounder: Too late! I can't see where they are!

[Grounder looks around for the infra-red goggles. Meanwhile, Sonic crawls below the dust cloud, towards Scratch and Grounder.]

Sonic: Ha ha! Good thing those dumbots are too stupid to stoop!

[Sonic reaches behind his back with his left hand and pulls out a rope, which he ties one end of around Scratch's legs with both his hands.]

Scratch: Grounder, are you there?
Grounder: I don't know, I can't see where there is!

[As Grounder talks, Sonic ties the other end of the rope to the nail holding up Grounder's X-14 license plate with both his hands. Sonic then steps back and cups his right hand to his mouth.]

Sonic: Excuse me, fellas, I'm your local meter maid. I'm afraid you've both parked in a red zone!

[As Scratch talks, he cups his right hand over his eyes and looks around.]

Scratch: It's not our fault, we can't see it!
Sonic: If you don't move immediately, it's a fifty Mobiums fine!

[Grounder rolls in place really fast in fear.]

Grounder: Whoa!

[Grounder rolls away, and since he is tied to the rope, the rope pulls Scratch down.]

Scratch: Yeow-how-how-hoo-hoo!

[The rope pulls Grounder back. He bumps into Scratch, launching the Darkenator into the air. The Darkenator then falls down, lands on them, and explodes, creating a huge dust cloud, complete with the word, KABOOM!. When the dust clears, Scratch and Grounder are now in pieces. Sonic runs up to them.]

Sonic: What a couple of dumbots!

[Sonic runs away, creating a cloud of dust.The dust cloud is used as a transition to the next scene, as when it clears, back at Robotnik's fortress, Wes Weasely is holding the destroyed Darkenator in both his hands. Robotnik is holding out his left hand, expecting a refund.]

Wes Weasely: Not my fault, not the machine's! Someone's tampered with it, wrecked the sucker!
Scratch: Ow-how-how!
Grounder: [yells]

[Robotnik growls and turns towards Scratch and Grounder, who both run in. The former is holding a crutch in his right arm, and the latter has his head bandaged and his right arm in a sling. Scratch points at Grounder with his left index finger, and Grounder points at Scratch with his left drill. Robotnik turns back to Wes Weasely as Scratch and Grounder stare angrily at each other, and holds out his left hand.]

Robotnik: What about my money back guarantee?
Wes Weasely: Sorry,

[Wes Weasely hands Robotnik the destroyed Darkenator, which Robotnik now holds in both his hands.]

Wes Weasely: Nullified with the tampering. Hate when that happens.

[Wes Weasely walks away, chuckling, and Robotnik growls. Wes Weasely then runs back and points at Robotnik with his left index finger.]

Wes Weasely: But tell you what I'm gonna do!

[Wes Weasely runs away.]

Wes Weasely: Yes siree, Robotnik, baby! I've got just the thing for you!

[Wes Weasely reaches and pulls out the Freeze Banger, which he now has over his left shoulder, and is holding the nozzle in his right hand.]

Wes Weasely: Presenting, the new, improved, undeniably grooved, Freeze Banger! Shoot a blast, the heat has passed, and Sonic the Hedgehog loses his fast! Let me show you how it works.

[Grounder rolls up to Wes Weasely, and his nose accidentally presses a button, activating the Freeze Banger. Wes Weasely turns around and stares at Grounder in shock as the Freeze Banger fires at Robotnik.]

Wes Weasely: Whoa!
Robotnik [heard offscreen]: [yells]

[Robotnik, having been zapped by the Freeze Banger, now has icicles hanging from his head, nose, mustache, and both his hands, and is shivering.]

Robotnik: Great! I'll take two!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where back at the hills, Sonic and Tails are playing a game of leapfrog together. Tails jumps over Sonic, then Sonic jumps over Tails and into the air really high. Tails holds up his right hand angrily.]

Tails: Hey, come on, Sonic, you can jump farther than me!

[Sonic lands near a cactus on the hill in the distance.]

Sonic: Buddy, when you got it, flaunt it!

[Sonic jumps into the air again and lands between two cacti. Scratch is hiding behind the leftmost one, and Grounder is hiding behind the rightmost one. They emerge from behind the cacti, holding the Freeze Bangers, which they have over their right shoulders, in both their hands.]

Scratch: Now!
Grounder: Ready for a little cold snap, hedgehog? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sonic: Did someone say "Snap"? Hut one, hut two, hike!

[Sonic spins into the air just in time as Scratch and Grounder fire their Freeze Bangers. They zap each other, freezing each other.]

Scratch and Grounder: We're Free-hee-hee-zing!

[Sonic is now sitting atop the rightmost cactus.]

Sonic: No problemo! I'll thaw you out!

[Sonic jumps down and lands in between Scratch and Grounder. He then runs around them in a figure eight, creating a trail of fire to melt the ice.]

Grounder: Why is he helping us like this?
Scratch: Maybe he likes us.
Grounder: Really?
Scratch: W-why not? We're charming, handsome, intelligent.
Grounder: Yeah?

[Sonic stops.]

Sonic: Hot enough for you?
Scratch: Yeah, nice and toasty!
Sonic: Hang in there, it's gonna get toastier!

[Sonic spins across the trail of fire. Grounder is now sweating.]

Grounder: Ooh, I think you're starting to blush!

[Scratch is now a reddish-orange color.]

Scratch: I think you're starting to melt!

[Sure enough, Scratch does melt.]

Scratch: Whoa! We're melting!

[Grounder is now red and he begins to melt as well.]

Grounder: We are melting!
Scratch [heard offscreen]: We're melting! We're melting! Help!
Grounder: Help! We're melting! We're melting! Help!

[When Grounder finishes melting, all that remains of him is his head.]

Grounder: Does this mean the hedgehog doesn't think we're charming, handsome, and intelligent?

[Scratch, who is now just a head, growls at Grounder. The fire is used as a transition to the next scene, which takes place at a machine that Robotnik walks up to.]

Robotnik: You two are incredible! I give you sure-fire schemes, and you're the only things that catch fire!

[Robotnik pulls a lever on the machine with his left hand as Scratch's melted remains travel down a conveyor belt, and into the funnel on the top of the machine.]

Robotnik: I don't know why I'm bothering to repair you. I'm just too sentimental for my own good!

[Robotnik pulls the lever with his left hand and presses several buttons on the machine with his right index finger. The steam iron on the machine opens, revealing Scratch to be fully repaired. Scratch then jumps out of the machine and lands near Robotnik.]

Scratch: Ha ha ha! I'm back!
Robotnik: Much too sentimental.

[Robotnik presses a button on the machine with his right index finger twice. Grounder's melted remains travel down the conveyor belt, and into the funnel. Robotnik pulls the lever with his left hand and presses a button with his right. The steam iron opens, and Grounder, who is fully repaired, falls out of it.]

Grounder: [yells]

[Grounder lands near Scratch, and his nose falls off.]

Grounder: Ooof! Huh? [in a nasal voice] Good as new.

[Grounder picks up his nose with his right hand and puts it back on his face. Wes Weasely walks in, waving at Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder with his right hand.]

Wes Weasely: How ya, how ya, how ya? Heh, celebrating a great victory for the Freeze Banger?

[Scratch waves his right fist at Wes Weasely.]

Scratch: You know what you put us through?!

[Scratch and Grounder walk angrily up to Wes Weasely.]

Grounder: You can take your freeze banger and...

[Before Grounder can finish, Robotnik grabs Scratch by his tail feathers with his right hand and Grounder by his antenna with his left hand.]

Robotnik [heard offscreen]: Hold it!

[Robotnik pulls Scratch and Grounder back.]

Scratch and Grounder [heard offscreen]: Whoa-ho-ho!

[Scratch and Grounder crash offscreen.]

Scratch and Grounder [heard offscreen]: Oh-ho-ho!
Wes Weasely: No need to sing my praises, no need to cheer! Just give a call, and Wes Weasely's here!

[Robotnik holds out his right hand.]

Robotnik: "Money back guarantee", you said! Pay up!
Wes Weasely: If the failure was our part, I'd be glad to, but we're talking pilot error here!

[Robotnik turns to face Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: Then someone better pay!

[Scratch and Grounder tremble in fear. Robotnik then holds out his right hand.]

Robotnik: Or else!

[Scratch opens Grounder's chest compartment with his left hand, then reaches in with the same hand and pulls out a stack of 100 Mobium Bills. Scratch is about to hand Robotnik the money, when Wes Weasely runs in and takes the stack of money with his right hand. Robotnik and Scratch stare in shock at this.]

Wes Weasely: Tell you what I'm gonna do!

[As Wes Weasely talks, he runs his left thumb through the stack of money.]

Wes Weasely: Because you've been such good customers, I'm gonna let you get the first crack at our newest doozy!

[Wes Weasely runs up to a sheet.]

Wes Weasely: Presenting, El Fabuloso, El Stupendo, El Incrediblissimo! Super-Duper Gravity Stopper!

[Wes Weasely pulls the sheet off with his left hand, revealing the Gravity Stopper underneath.]

Robotnik: This better be good, Weasely!
Wes Weasely: Allow me to demonstrate, your Robotnikness!

[Wes Weasely grabs the levers on the Gravity Stopper with both his hands, and a beam fires at Robotnik, Scratch and Grounder, suspending them in the air.]

Robotnik: D'oh! Oh! Ow!
Grounder: Whoa! Help! I'm afraid of heights!
Scratch: Whoa-ho! Get me down, I flunked flying!

[Scratch and Grounder bump into each other.]

Scratch: Ow-how-how-how!
Wes Weasely: Heh, works like a charm, doesn't it?

[Robotnik lies on his back, with both his hands behind his head.]

Robotnik: I like it! Sonic will hate it!

[Robotnik then lies on his stomach, with both his hands under his head.]

Robotnik: No gravity, no friction, no speed!
Wes Weasely: Not a bad gimmick, eh? And if you buy now, I'll throw in a couple pairs of these nifty self-gravity boots!

[Wes Weasely pulls out a pair of self-gravity boots, which he is holding in his left hand. Robotnik then presses his butt against Scratch and Grounder's faces.]

Scratch: Ow-how-how!
Grounder: Ugh!
Robotnik: We'll take it! Now get us down!

[Wes Weasely holds up his right index finger.]

Wes Weasely: Ask, and you will recieve, O supreme supplier of endless cash!

[Wes Weasely pulls a lever on the Gravity Stopper with his right hand, turning the Gravity Stopper's beam off. Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder fall down.]

Robotnik: No!
Scratch and Grounder: [both yell]

[Robotnik lands on the ground below.]

Robotnik: Oh!

[Scratch and Grounder land on Robotnik, and their imact causes his eyes to fall out of his head.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho!
Robotnik: Ow!

[Robotnik turns his head at Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: You dumbots! Get off me and go get that hedgehog!

[Robotnik points with his left index finger. Grounder's left tread falls off, and hits Robotnik on the head.]

Robotnik: [yelps]

[The screen transitions to a view of Sonic running along the path, with Tails walking wearily behind him.]

Tails: We've been on the go for hours, Sonic! Can't we take a break?

[Sonic comes to two rocks.]

Sonic: Okay, squirt, take a load off!

[Sonic sits down on the leftmost rock, and Tails walks wearily up to the rightmost rock and sits on it. Sonic then stands up from and sits down on the leftmost rock repeatedly.]

Sonic: I hate sitting around with nothing going on!
Tails: Nothing going on?
Sonic: Okay, so Robotnik's badniks came at me with a dark ray and a freeze ray.
Tails: What more do you want?
Sonic: Action, Jackson!

[Sonic jumps off the rock and runs in place. He then runs to the top of the hill, then to the top of another hill, then back the other way. Tails looks around as Sonic runs past him, then past him the other way, then past him again the other way. Sonic then stops near the leftmost rock.]

Sonic: There! That's better!

[Sonic spins into the ground, then spins back out. He lands near the hole he created, and taps his left foot.]

Sonic: You ready to go yet?

[Tails sighs heavily. A crosshair now focuses on Sonic as he walks up to Tails and pats his left shoulder with his left hand.]

Sonic: Sorry, little bro. Just keep chillin', I know you're pooped!

[Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are wearing self-gravity boots, are standing behind the Gravity Stopper, which is pointed at Sonic and Tails.]

Scratch: He wants action, he'll get action!

[Scratch pulls a lever on the Gravity Stopper with his right hand. A beam from it fires at Sonic and Tails, zapping them.]

Tails: Sonic! What happened?
Scratch: We zapped you, brat!

[Grounder turns his drills into yellow feathery wings.]

Grounder: Yeah, and there's nothing you can do about it!

[Scratch points at Sonic and Tails with his left index finger.]

Scratch: Bwahahahaha!
Grounder: Ha ha ha ha!

[Sonic shakes his right fist at Scratch and Grounder.]

Sonic: Oh, yeah?

[Sonic tries to run away, but only runs in place in midair. He looks down in question.]

Sonic: Huh? I'm weightless!

[Sonic screeches to a stop. Scratch and Grounder then walk up to Sonic.]

Scratch: Whoa, Grounder! Look at that! The hedgehog can't run, and he can't hide! Bwahaha!
Grounder: Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah, and we got self-gravity boots!

[Grounder points to his right self-gravity boot with his right drill. He then turns both his drills into hands and presses their thumbs up to his head to tease Sonic and Tails.]

Grounder: You're a goner, hedgehog! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[The camera zooms in on Grounder's mouth, and the screen fades to black. The next scene takes place where the last one left off, as Scratch and Grounder are watching over Sonic and Tails, who are still trapped in the Gravity Stopper's beam.]

Tails: Sonic, use your speed!
Sonic: Can't; without gravity, I can't get any footing!

[Scratch points at Sonic and Tails with his left index finger.]

Grounder: His speed is useless! Ha ha! I've been waiting for years to hear that!
Scratch: We were only built four months ago!

[Scratch holds up all three fingers and his thumb on his right hand.]

Grounder: Well, it feels like years.
Sonic: Okay, guys. Nice trick. You got us? Wanna bring us down now?
Scratch: Nah, we wanna watch you squirm!
Grounder: Yeah, you blue furball!
Sonic: Come on, guys, you won! You don't have to be nasty!
Grounder: Aw, I'm sorry. Heh heh! No, I'm not! Let's go, Scratch! Let's get em' down so we can collect the reward!
Scratch: Not so fast, I'm enjoying having him helpless! Bwahaha!

[Sonic points to the Gravity Stopper with his right index finger.]

Sonic: Just turn off that Gravity Stopper ray, and we're yours.
Scratch: Bwahaha! Bwahahaha! Bwahahaha! Bwahaha!
Grounder: Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[Grounder stops, as he wonders why he and Scratch are laughing.]

Grounder: Why are we laughing?

[Scratch leans towards Grounder and cups his right hand to his mouth.]

Scratch: We're dumb, but we're not that dumb!
Grounder: That's right, we're not that dumb! We're not?

[Scratch grabs Grounder by his collar with his right hand.]

Scratch: Of course not! If we shut off the Gravity Stopper machine, Sonic will fall fall back to the ground, and run away!

[Scratch points to Sonic with his left index finger, then to the ground with the same finger.]

Grounder: Oh, yeah! I knew that!
Sonic: Actually, guys, we can get away even faster up here!
Scratch: What?
Sonic: Sure! With no gravity to pull him down, Tails can tow me anyplace I wanna go! Right, little bro?
Tails: Pilot to passengers, prepare to escape!

[Sonic grabs both of Tails' legs with both his hands. Tails prepares to fly away, and Scratch points to them with his left index finger below as Grounder stares in shock.]

Scratch: We gotta stop em'!
Grounder: [yells]

[Scratch and Grounder follow Sonic and Tails, who are flying away, on foot.]

Sonic: Hold it! There's one flaw in this plan I didn't think of!
Tails: What?
Sonic: One of the klutz-bots could take off his self-gravity boots, and come up here and catch us!

[Scratch and Grounder look at each other, then up at Sonic.]

Tails: Really?
Sonic: Yeah! But they'd never think of doing that!
Scratch: Oh, wouldn't we?

[Scratch removes his self-gravity boots with both his hands, and is pulled into the Gravity Stopper's beam. He tries to catch Sonic with both his hands.]

Scratch: Huh! Ugh! Ah! Ugh!

[Scratch tries to catch Sonic with both his hands, but Tails flies away just in time to avoid them getting caught by Scratch.]

Scratch: Whoops! I missed!

[Scratch swims after Sonic and Tails, the former of whom is signaling him with his right index finger.]

Sonic: Swim about three feet this way, and try again!
Scratch: Huh, ugh!

[Scratch tries to swim after Sonic and Tails, but gets nowhere. Sonic points at Scratch with his right index finger.]

Sonic: Nope, looks like you're gonna be stranded up here for the rest of your life!
Scratch: Stranded?!

[Below, Grounder looks up at Sonic, Tails, and Scratch.]

Sonic: Unless, of course, you tell your buddy to shut off the machine.
Scratch: Grounder! Shut it off!
Grounder: Huh?

[Grounder reaches towards the Gravity Stopper with his right arm, and presses a button with his right drill, shutting the Gravity Stopper off.]

Grounder: Heh heh heh.

[Just then, the sound of Scratch falling can be heard. He looks up and stares in shock, with his eyes popping out of his head.]

Grounder: [yells]

[Scratch falls on Grounder, and they both fall apart.]

Grounder: Ugh!
Scratch: Oh-ho-ho!

[Tails flies down towards Scratch and Grounder.]

Sonic: That's life, guys,

[Sonic lets go of Tails' legs and lands near Scratch and Grounder.]

Sonic: Ups and downs, ups and downs!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place at Robotnik's fortress. Robotnik leans against a wall as a crane arm carries in Scratch and Grounder's pieces on a magnet, then drops them. Robotnik walks up to a closet door and presses a button near it with his right hand. The closet door opens, and Robotnik searches through his closet.]

Robotnik: Why do I always end up in the recycling business?

[Robotnik pulls out a tire pump, which he now holds in his right hand. He sets the pump down near Scratch and Grounder and pumps it with his right hand. The pump inflates Scratch back to normal.]

Scratch: Thanks, your maliciousness! That's a real load off my mind!

[Scratch holds his head with both his hands, then Robotnik uses the pump to inflate Grounder back to normal.]

Grounder: Ah, I feel like me again!

[Grounder rubs his head with his right drill.]

Robotnik: Just my luck!

[Just then, a Robot with two long arms standing on one wheel opens the door with its left hand. It holds Wes Weasely in its right hand and drags him along.]

Wes Weasely: How are you, how are you, friends? Nice to be back, but you didn't have to arrange an escort.

[The Robot sets Wes Weasely down and rolls away. Wes Weasely puts his hat back on his head with his left hand, then stands up and dusts off his chest with his right hand.]

Wes Weasely: A simple message to my fax machine would have worked.
Robotnik: I'll give you a simple message to your throat! Aaaagh!

[Robotnik angrily reaches toward Wes Weasely, who backs up, holding both his hands up like Stop signs.]

Wes Weasely: I can see you're slightly upset, but we stand behind our products, so,

[Wes Weasely reaches into his coat pocket with his right hand and pulls out the stack of money Scratch and Grounder paid him earlier.]

Wes Weasely: I'm prepared to refund your money! You say the Gravity Stopper cannon didn't work?

[Wes Weasely puts his left hand on Robotnik's back, and Grounder rolls up to them.]

Grounder: Oh, oh no, that worked fine! It was the self-gravity net that messed us up!
Wes Weasely: The net? Heh, well, that presents a prob, palley.

[Wes Weasely puts his left hand on Grounder's head, then walks away with him.]

Wes Weasely: I threw it in for nothing, so there's nothing to refund.

[Wes Weasely puts the stack of money he is holding in his right hand back into his coat pocket with the same hand. Robotnik growls furiously at him.]

Robotnik: Cheater! Rapscallion! Flimflammer!

[Steam now emits from Robotnik's ears as Wes Weasely runs back up to him and pats him on the back with his right hand.]

Wes Weasely: Whoa! Uh, don't get so hard-boiled!

[Wes Weasely reaches offscreen with his left hand, and pulls out a fan, which he now holds in the same hand, and uses to fan Robotnik's face with.]

Wes Weasely: I'll make it right, trust me!

[Robotnik points at Wes Weasely with his right index finger.]

Robotnik: You have sold me contraption after contraption, and none of them work!

[Wes puts his right arm behind Robotnik's back, and they walk past Scratch and Grounder together.]

Wes Weasely: Oh, contraire, mon omolette! It's your two stooges who don't work! My machines have performed as promised!

[Wes Weasely holds out his left arm.]

Robotnik: Hmmm, you have a point.

[Robotnik holds up his right index finger.]

Wes Weasely: Tell you what I'm gonna do!

[Wes Weasely lifts up his right arm, then slaps Robotnik's back with his right hand.]

Robotnik: Ah!

[Wes Weasely jumps onto the table behind him and Robotnik.]

Wes Weasely: You, palsie, will be the first to try the all-new, the one, the only, H.D.S.V.A.D.L. De-atomizer!

[Robotnik and Wes Weasely nod their heads in unison. Wes Weasely then presses a button on a purple suitcase with his left index finger. The suitcase opens, revealing the De-atomizer, which Wes Weasely picks up with his right hand, and is now holding it in the same hand.]

Robotnik: What does it do?
Wes Weasely: What does it do? What does it do? Just watch!

[Wes Weasely now holds the De-Atomizer in his left hand. He squeezes the trigger with his right hand, and the De-Atomizer fires a beam at Scratch and Grounder, who both stare in shock.]

'Scratch and Grounder: Hey, watch out!

[Grounder covers his eyes with his drills as Scratch tries to run away, but the De-atomizer's beam zaps him, making him disappear Grounder uncovers his eyes, stares in shock, and gasps.]

Wes Weasely: Voila!

[Grounder is now looking for Scratch.]

Grounder: Scratch? Wh-wh-wh-where are you?
'Robotnik: But I don't just want Sonic to disappear, I want to put him in a dungeon, so I can gloat at him!
Wes Weasely: No problem! You just make a few adjustments, and materialize him, wherever you want!

[Wes Weasely turns the pink knob with his right thumb and index finger, then presses the trigger with his right hand. Scratch reappears, and Grounder gasps as he stares in shock, with his eyes popping out of his head.]

Grounder: [yells] Don't scare me like that!]

[Robotnik grabs the de-atomizer with his left hand.]

Robotnik: What's that red switch?

[Wes Weasely pulls the De-atomizer back, and Robotnik pulls it back towards him with both his hands.]

Wes Weasely: Don't touch that, my friend.
Robotnik: I'm Dr. Robotnik! I touch what I want!

[The De-Atomizer falls out of Robotnik and Wes Weasely's hands, and towards the floor. Wes Weasely manages to catch the de-atomizer in his left hand.]

Wes Weasely: But nobody knows what that red switch does! We haven't had a chance to test it yet!

[Robotnik grabs the De-atomizer with his right hand, then Wes Weasely grabs the De-atomizer with his right hand, then Robotnik grabs the De-atomizer with his left hand. Robotnik then pulls the De-atomizer away from Wes Weasely. He is now holding it in his right hand.]

Robotnik: I'll take your De-atomizer, and you, too!

[Robotnik points at Wes Weasely with his left index finger, then grabs Wes Weasely by the collar of his shirt with both his hands and pulls him towards him.]

Robotnik: You're going along to supervise Sonic's capture!

[Robotnik is now holding the De-atomizer in his right hand.]

Wes Weasely: Sorry, Doc. I couldn't; people to see, places to go, products to peddle!

[Robotnik reaches towards Wes Weasely with his left hand. He grabs him by the collar of his shirt with both his hands and pulls him back again.]

Robotnik: Wrong! Incorrect! Unacceptable!
Wes Weasely [in a nasal voice]: Anything you say, palsey!
Robotnik: And if this newest gadget of yours doesn't get results, you're history, palsey!

[Robotnik tosses Wes Weasely aside.]

Wes Weasely: Whoa!

[Wes Weasely's fall is used as a transition to the next scene, which takes place in a cornfield. Scratch, Grounder, and Wes Weasely are hididng out in the cornfield, waiting for Sonic, when Wes Weasely tries to crawl away. Grounder turns his right drill into a hand, which he uses to grab Wes Weasely by the back of the collar of his shirt and pull him back.]

Grounder: Ugh! Hey, where are you going?
Wes Weasely: I'm a door-to-door tyrant-to-tyrant salesman! Heh! I'm really not comfortable out in the field! Heh.

[Grounder turns his left drill into a platform, which he sets Wes Weasely down on.]

Grounder: Sit!

[Sonic runs towards the cornfield, holding Tails' left hand in his right hand, and towing him along.]

Scratch: Here they come! Give me the De-atomizer!

[Scratch picks up the De-atomizer, which he is now holding in his right hand.]

Scratch: What switch is it again?
Wes Weasely: No! Not...

[Wes Weasely holds out both his hands like stop signs. Due to an animation error, Scratch presses the pink knob with his right index finger, instead of the red switch.]

Wes Weasely: ...the red one!

[Wes Weasely backs up, covers his eyes with both his hands, and trembles in fear as a beam fires from the De-Atomizer.]

Scratch: [screams]

[Sonic screeches to a halt.]

Sonic: Tails, butt out!

[Sonic pushes Tails aside with both his hands.]

Tails: Hey!
Sonic: Ugh!

[The beam zaps Sonic.]

Sonic: [screams] Whoa! Whoa! I'm splitting! I'm splitting!

[Sure enough, Sonic splits into five different versions of himself, who all look identical to him. Wes Weasely uncovers his eyes, having found out about the red switch's capability.]

Wes Weasely: Well, what do you know? The red switch makes it a cloner!

[Grounder rolls up to Wes Weasely.]

Grounder: Oooh, Dr. Robotnik's not going to like this!

[Scratch runs up to Grounder and Wes Weasely.]

Scratch: Yeah, instead of getting rid of Sonic, we got five of him!

[The real Sonic looks at his four clones.]

Sonic: Don't just stand there looking cool! Let's get poppin! Ready...

[The four Sonic clones each spin through a cornstalk, knocking them down.]

Sonic: ...aim...

[The four Sonic clones pick up the cornstalks with both their hands. The real Sonic then runs past them, creating a trail of fire for them to heat the cornstalks over.]

Sonic: ...fire...

[The four Sonic clones place their cornstalks over the fire.]

Sonic: ...and fire!

[The corn from the cornstalks pop off them, forming a giant popcorn ball, which rolls down the hill, and towards Scratch, Grounder, and Wes Weasely, who all stare at it in shock.]

Scratch and Grounder: [both scream]

[Wes Weasely ducks back into the cornfield as Scratch climbs onboard Grounder and turns his head around.]

Scratch: incoming popcorn! Get us out of here!

[Grounder rolls away, with Scratch riding atop him. They both scream in fear as the giant popcorn ball chases them. Wes Weasely, who is now holding the De-atomizer in his left hand, pulls back a cornstalk with his right hand. He peers out, then tries to sneak away, only for the real Sonic to point at him with his left index finger.]

Sonic: Hold it!
Wes Weasely: Well, well, well! If it isn't Sonic the Hedgehog! How are ya, how are ya? Heh heh.

[Wes Weasely points to Sonic with his right index finger, but Sonic, unamused, taps his right foot. He then points at the De-atomizer with his left index finger.]

Sonic: Where you going with that?
Wes Weasely: You like it? Don't blame you. Got low mileage, good as new! You wanna lease or buy one?

[Sonic taps his right foot, then points at Wes Weasely with his left index finger.]

Sonic: I wanna take a vote!

[The real Sonic turns to face his clones.]

Sonic: Hey, guys, if this gadget isn't reversable, should we toss this weasel in jail?

[The real Sonic points at Wes Weasely with his left hand.]

Sonic Clones: Yeah! Yeah!
Wes Weasely: Trust me, palsey, you got nothing to worry about.

[Wes Weasely nervously tugs on the collar of his shirt with his right index finger, then points at Sonic with the same finger.]

Wes Weasely: I'll put you back in one piece in a jiff!

[The real Sonic puts his right thumb and index finger in his mouth, and whistles. His four clones spin up to him. Wes Weasely is now holding the De-Atomizer in his right hand.]

Wes Weasely: All together now, say "Cheese"!

[Wes Weasely turns the pink knob on the de-atomizer with his left thumb and index finger.]

Sonic and Clones: Chili dogs!

[Wes Weasely fires the De-Atomizer at the real Sonic and his clones.]

Sonic and Clones: Whoa!

[The four Sonic clones merge back into Sonic, who now lands on his butt as Tails runs up to him.]

Sonic: Ugh!
Tails: It's you! The one and only!

[Sonic stands up, then turns to face Tails.]

Sonic: Yeah, and that's the way I wanna keep it!

[Sonic turns to face Wes Weasely, who is no longer there.]

Sonic: Hey, where'd that weasel go?

[Sonic spins past Wes Weasely, who tries to sneak away, and screeches to a halt in front of him. Wes Weasely bumps into him.]

Wes Weasely: Oops!
Sonic: I didn't get to say, "Thanks!". What are you sneaking away for?

[Sonic points at Wes Weasely with his right index finger.]

Wes Weasely: It's not you, palsey, I'm trying to get away from Robotnik!
Sonic: You and the rest of Mobius.
Wes Weasely: I never saw a tougher customer! Somebody ought to give him what he deserves!

[Sonic points to himself with both his thumbs.]

Sonic: Somebody just might!

[An image of Sonic spinning is used as a transition to the next scene, which takes place outside Robotnik's fortress. Inside Robotnik's fortress, Robotnik growls unintelligibly at Scratch and Grounder for failing to capture Sonic. He then throws a pot at them, and they flinch, causing it to bounce off the wall.. Scratch puts his right hand over his head, and Grounder puts both his drills over his head.]

Scratch and Grounder: Hey!

[Robotnik continues growling unintelligibly, and throws more pots at Scratch and Grounder, which miss and bounce off the wall.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho!
Grounder: Ugh!

[Robotnik continues growling unintelligibly at Scratch and Grounder, who flinch as he then tosses a gear and a monkey wrench at them, which miss them and bounce off the wall.]

Robotnik [heard offscreen]: Dumbots!
Scratch: We know exactly how you feel, your viciousness.
Grounder: Yeah, you took the words right out of...

[Robotnik throws a bolt at Scratch, which hits him on his beak.]

Scratch: Ow-how-how!
Grounder: ...our mouths.

[Stars spin around Scratch's head. Robotnik is now holding a pile of junk over his head with both his hands, which he tosses at Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: Oh!

[The pile of junk lands on Scratch and Grounder.]

Scratch [heard offscreen]: Oh-ho-ho!
'Grounder: [yells]
Robotnik: There! I feel much better!

[Robotnik walks away. Scratch and Grounder then poke their heads out of the pile of junk. Scratch has a bucket on his head. Outside Robotnik's fortress, Sonic, who is wearing the exact same outfit Wes Weasely wears, and is holding a suitcase in his right hand, walks up to the front door. He winks his right eye at the viewers, then reaches behind his back with his left hand. He pulls out a shark mask, which he puts on over his head with both his hands. He then picks up the suitcase with his right hand and pushes the front door open with his left.]

Sonic: Knockety, knockety! Is the master of the house at home?

[Sonic walks in.]

Robotnik: Who are you?

[Sonic walks up to Robotnik and drops the suitcase.]

Sonic: Name's Sharkley. Sid Sharkley, executive sales manager for Handy Dandy Supervillain Appliance Distributions Limited!

[Sonic grabs his hat with his right hand and lifts it.]

Robotnik: Weasley's company? Get out!

[Sonic points at Robotnik with his left index finger.]

Sonic: Wes Weasely let you down, but I'm here to make things right!

[Sonic, who is now holding the suitcase in his right hand, sets it down near Robotnik. He presses the button on it with his right index finger. The suitcase opens, revealing a giant machine that was built from the pieces of all four of Wes Weasely's previous devices; the Darkenator, the Freeze Banger, the Gravity Stopper, and the De-Atomizer. There is also a black flag with a skull and crossbones on it on top. Sonic walks up to the machine.]

Sonic: Presenting the new, vastly improved, super stupendous, tremendous, horrendous, Hedgehog-catching Vanquisher!

[Robotnik walks up to the Vanquisher.]

Robotnik: Is this like your other failures, or does it work?
Sonic: Good question! If there's one thing I like, it's a brilliant customer. Just watch!

[Sonic walks up to the Vanquisher's control panel. He pulls the black lever with his left hand.]

Robotnik: Oh!

[The Vanquisher's Darkenator Nozzle creates a black cloud.]

Robotnik: Hey, what's going on?
Sonic: It's got your basic Darkenator,
Robotnik: What's that noise?

[The Vanquisher's Freeze Banger nozzle is now pointed at Robotnik. The dark cloud clears, and Robotnik stares in shock at the nozzle.]

Robotnik: [yelps]

[The Vanquisher's Freeze Banger nozzle zaps Dr. Robotnik, causing him to shiver, and creating icicles on the top of his head, his nose, his mustache, and his hands.]

Sonic [heard offscreen]: Plus your standard Freeze Banger accessory, and your advanced Gravity Stopper!

[Sonic pulls the black lever on the control panel with his left hand. The Vanquisher's Gravity Stopper sattelite turns to Robotnik and zaps him, with the resulting beam sending him floating into the air.]

Robotnik: Get me down!

[Back at the junk pile, Scratch and Grounder have managed to get out of it. Scratch has a bucket on his right foot, which he tries to shake off.]

Scratch: Oh! Uh, we'll help you, your rottenness!

[Scratch kicks the bucket off his right foot, and he and Grounder run up to the Vanquisher's Gravity Stopper beam. Since neither he nor Grounder are wearing Self-Gravity Boots, they get caught in the beam.]

Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
Grounder: Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa!
Sonic: And for the newest feature that no hedgehog-hating fatso can resist...

[Sonic pulls the Vanquisher's red lever with his right hand. The Vanquisher's De-Atomizer nozzle turns towards Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder, and fires a beam at them, zapping them.]

Robotnik: Whaa!
Scratch: Whoa-oa!
Grounder: Whoa-oa!

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder disappear. Sonic presses a button on the Vanquisher's control panel with his right index finger. The Vanquisher's Freeze Banger fires a beam, and Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder appear, each one in a block of ice. Robotnik has Scratch's body and Grounder's treads, Grounder has Robotnik's body and Scratch's legs, and Scratch has Grounder's body and Robotnik's legs. Sonic jumps up to them.]

Sonic: How do you like it?

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder all grumble unintelligibly.]

Sonic: Compliments of the Handy Dandy Super Villain Appliance Distributions Limited Company, and...

[Sonic removes his shark mask with his right hand, revealing his true identity underneath.]

Sonic: ...your friendly neighborhood freedom fighter!

[Sonic winks his right eye, then waves at Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder with his right hand.]

Sonic: Bye, guys!

[Sonic runs away. Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder struggle to get out of their ice blocks, but to no avail.]

Robotnik, Scratch and Grounder: We... hate... that... hedge...hog!

[The screen irises out on Scratch, Grounder, and Robotnik, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says

[Tails is at Sonic's house, sitting in a chair near a TV, watching a commercial for Wes Weasely's Robo Dude.]

Wes Weasely [heard offscreen]: Kids, it's Robo Dude!

[Robo Dude, a green cylindrical robot is shown onscreen. As Wes Weasely talks, Robo Dude picks up a pile of toys and a barbell with both his hands, and puts them in a toy box.]

Wes Weasely [heard offscreen]: The kid's best friend! He cleans up your room, and does all your chores while you're out having fun! Don't be a dud, get a dude! Robo Dude! Only $9.98.

[The words, ROBO DUDE and ONLY $9.98 appear onscreen in red letters. The next scene takes place at a service desk, where Tails watches Wes Weasely put various boxes on the table. The boxes are all labeled in black letters. One says, ROBO DUDE, one says, CLEANING KIT, two say, CONTROL, one says, FILTER, and two say, WAX.]

Wes Weasely: Plus batteries, cleaning attachment, program chips, remote control, storage unit, dodge builder, wax dispenser, and disposable trash bags. That'll be $99.98.

[Wes Weasely points to Tails with his left index finger. Tails gulps. Sonic then appears onscreen.]

Sonic [to the viewers]: If it sounds too good to be true, it's probably false!
Transcripts

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki