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Forums: Index > General > Riddles, Jokes. and plain old fun!!!

Hi everyone! do you have a good riddle or a ''hilarious'' joke? post it here. please, no edits to other peoples stuff... I'll start: Tall I am old, short I am young, What am I?? How do a blondes brain cells die? Alone!!The Chosen One of Psychic 20:41, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

..with life I do glow, your breath is my foe. A Candle.--Mystic Monkey 17:18, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

lol, i know a few blond jokes, (no offence to anyone) so there are two blonds, walking in the woods and one sees some tracks and says "look! i've found some rabbit tracks!" the other one replies "there not rabbit tracks, they're deer tracks" the two start fighting over the matter until there hit by a train. Myself 123 15:44, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Heres my riddle. A man was stabbed to death with no evidense of who have commited the crime, not even a fingerprint. However, the results show that the murder weapon is a puddle of water which was found at the scene of the crime. How was the person murdered?--Mystic Monkey 17:18, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Those pesky icicles. Myself 123 17:37, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Im suprised you got that off the bat. I managed to keep a topic on an Invision Board going for 3 pages with that one.--Mystic Monkey 17:48, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
To tell you the truth, i have heard of it before. Myself 123 17:50, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
Ah, 'k then. It'll take some time before I remember my original riddle I made up once.--Mystic Monkey 17:52, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

I've made up one right, there are ten steps, one man comes and walks up all ten and reaches the top, another man comes and takes only 5 steps and raches the top and another only takes one step and reaches the top. how? Myself 123 17:46, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

He used an esculator?--Mystic Monkey 17:53, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
Yep, most people don't get it straight away. Myself 123 17:55, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
It wa a guest, that or really long legs.--Mystic Monkey 17:57, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
lol no, you were right the first time. Myself 123 18:04, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

I have one. Itwas in a comedy show. I call it "Replacement Words:"

Guy 1: What the fruit is goin' on here!?

Guy 2: Shut up you ice cream cone!!

Guy 1: Did you just call me an ice cream cone!?--

Guy 2: You better believe it you Cobble Damp 'n' fruitin' dumb soup!"

S.H. 02:14 PM, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

I dont get it...The Chosen One of Psychic 21:20, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Nah, skimmed off me as well.--Mystic Monkey 22:38, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

what is something that the maker of it does not want, the buyer does not need, and the user does not see himself use it?--: The Chosen One Of Water  ;) 23:11, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

A Coffin! I know that one in advance! The one who doesn't know to use it, is still alive, or dead before buying it.--Mystic Monkey 23:26, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

good one--: The Chosen One Of Water  ;) 00:59, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

tall i am young, short i am old.The Chosen One of Fire 01:00, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

you guys don't get it??? oh come on! the food words are replacing bad words! "what the fruit" means "what the f**k" "fruitin' dumb soup" is "f*****g d**n sh*t". --S.H. 01:05, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

my riddle, what's the answer, oh yah, to sh, uh uh.The Chosen One of Fire 01:08, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Bleh. I've never been good with jokes. But I guess I've got a couple of DBS ones.
A blonde walks into an electric store. She goes over to the manager. *Pointing* "May I please buy that mini-tv?" she asks. "No." replies the manager. "Why not?" she now asks. He gives her a stern look. "No blondes allowed." The manager proceeds to call security, to throw her out.
The next day, she tries again. "May I please but that mini-tv?!" she pleads to him. "I told you yesterday, no blondes allowed." He kicks her out again.
The same thing happens on the next day, and the day after that. Eventually, the blonde gets a plan, to trick the manager.
The blonde walks in, wearing a brunette wig. She sees the manager doing some paper-work in his office. She points at the same spot as usual. "Sir...May I please own that mini-tv?" she tries using a disguised voice. Startled, the manager looks up from his desk. "? No....No blondes allowed?" He questions his thoughts, and looks down again. "Excuse me?! That's discrimeynason (Spelled wrong on purpose.)!" She pauses for a moment. "Clearly, I am a brunette you arrogant jerk." The manager chuckles a little. "Ma'am, you wanna know what's wrong with your plan?" "W-what's that?" she asks, surprised. "First off", he begins "Your wig is backwards, and I can see alot of the blonde. Second off, we're closed on Sundays. I don't know how you got in, but you shouldn't be here. Lastly," he laughs again "That's a microwave, not a tv!"
Well? SLJCOAAATR 4 6 8 15 16 23 42 108 305 316 01:56, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

lol SLJ, ive heard that one, but this is like the improved version of it--: The Chosen One Of Water  ;) 02:01, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Fire you either said it wrong the first time or the second time. Myself 123 13:58, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Of course, mine is old.... XD At least you thought it was better. SLJCOAAATR 4 6 8 15 16 23 42 108 305 316 22:20, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

I got a small joke-riddle thing. Show me an i with a dot over it.--Mystic Monkey 23:55, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

What, like this? .

________________i Myself 123 23:59, 17 March 2009 (UTC)
In edit I can tell you got the answer right. :)--Mystic Monkey 00:07, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
Took me ages to get it right. Myself 123 00:12, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
Well, Im gonna be awake most tonight thinking up a new original riddle.--Mystic Monkey 00:17, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
I don't have to worry 'bout getting up early cus i start college at 13:15 :P. Myself 123 00:20, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

wow guys good job!!! What do u call the cross of a blonde and an elephant? A woman!!!The Chosen One of Psychic 20:41, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Why wasn't bertha put in jail after killing hundreds of people?--: The Chosen One Of Water  ;) 23:00, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

it was a bomb.Valerie the Voxai 21:16, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

close, hurricane--: The Chosen One Of Water  ;) 23:12, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

her logic is that a big bertha is a bomb.The Chosen One of Fire 01:58, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

ya, technically valirie is trueThe Chosen One of Psychic 21:10, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

i know a blonde joke- how many blonde jokes are there? answer- one. the rest are all true stories.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Take the pin out and throw it back.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run! She's got a grenade in her mouth! Myself 123 22:00, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

lorrrrrrrrrrrrl.The Chosen One of Fire 12:14, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

WAIT, bfore we continue, who is a blond here? Dawnthehedgehog 17:38, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

not me, i'm male.The Chosen One of Fire 18:59, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Myself, as creater of the forum, i now name u, SECOND JOKER FUNNY GUY!!!!The Chosen One of Psychic 00:57, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Myself 123 20:46, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

OK what's up with all this chosen 1 of whatever mess? i mean dang isn't 1 enough? are all of u bros. or something? No offense.--Sonic Blur 20:51, 22 March 2009 (UTC)Sonic Blur/Speed

we r cuzins, no offense takin (by me at least)--: The Chosen One Of Water  ;) 21:01, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Summon Captain Planet!--Mystic Monkey 21:15, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

you have the wrong idea(coughs a cough that sounds a lot like "rat") i told at least 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000times Grass=life, psychic=energy of life, water=sustainer of life, fire= destoyer of life.The Chosen One of Fire 02:55, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

gues who is 1.5 funny guy? fire. guess who is 99999.999 funny guy? water. gues who is best funny guy? ME!!!!!The Chosen One of Psychic 00:57, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

translation, he's the funniest ,then me, then claws, and water pretty much stinks at humor.The Chosen One Of Fire 23:00, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

hang on, i'm the "second joker funny guy." Myself 123 23:04, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

he said i'm 1.5. unless you're really bad in math, or just plain ticked, you'd know that 1.5 comes before 2.The Chosen One Of Fire 23:09, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

oh, i didn't realy get that bit. Myself 123 23:11, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

well...The Chosen One Of Fire 23:16, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

im blond!!! but i still love blond jokes!! lol ok so 1.y did the blonde climb over the glass wall? to see wat was on the other side ;) 2. y did the blond tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? so she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills ;) 3. wat do u call a smart blonde? a golden retriever ;) 4. how do u confuse a blonde? u dont, they're born that way! ;) --SunsetTheHedgehog 03:06, 11 April 2009 (UTC)

i think this proves the point about blondes :P.The Chosen One Of Fire 12:22, 11 April 2009 (UTC)

watever!! im smart! i just think that the jokes r funny --SunsetTheHedgehog 18:14, 11 April 2009 (UTC)

ya she is WAY more smarter than me, no i am not a blond im actually a brunette! Dawn the Hedgehog 06:10, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

i'm actually in between, closer to brown. it doesn't matter here because i'm male, but in lebanon they make fun of the male blondes. let ,me give you a sample:

a blond was in the army with a blonde general. the general went up to the colonel (a brownie) and said

"why do you think blondes are dumb?"
the colonel responded "get your blonde soldier over here so i can show you" So he did
(colonel to soldier) "go to my house and ask if im there" the soldier goes
(colonel to general) "see my point?"
(general to colonel) "that was just him, i would have called first"

The Chosen One Of Fire 11:50, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

lolz! and yes magi i am smarter than u! lol jk jk jk jk jk at least we hav the same sense of humor ;) --SunsetTheHedgehog 15:17, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

eh...The Chosen One Of Fire 23:40, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

eh...? --SunsetTheHedgehog 04:41, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

you're weird. aka, my kind of person. but i don't date:P.The Chosen One Of Fire 13:28, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

well u couldnt date anywayz since this is, the internet --SunsetTheHedgehog 05:16, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

true...Dawn the Hedgehog 16:00, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

I got a sonic riddle: what is the one storybook that sonic WOULDN"T want to be pulled into?--Milotheechidna 21:12, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

IDK, wat? (hehe amy's world) Dawn the Hedgehog 05:24, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

HAMLET! Cuz everybody dies in the book!--Milotheechidna 03:08, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

umm ok Dawn the Hedgehog 03:51, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

i still want kaleelah wa dimna!!!!The Chosen One Of Fire 15:43, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

i'll be 'isaac'.Valerie the Voxai 17:01, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

sorry that joke was poorly concieved... how about amy's diary? Thats a pure nightmare.

Sonic gets sucked into To mirrored worlds where he is forced to fufill will of his fans.--Mystic Monkey 21:17, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Now thats a better one--Milotheechidna 15:41, 21 April 2009 (UTC)