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Hedgehog in the Iron Mask (transcript)

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This is a transcript of the Sonic Underground episode, "Hedgehog in the Iron Mask".

[The Sonic Underground theme song plays]
Aleena (narrating): Behind the mask of our everyday faces are secret fears and ambitions we try to hide from others. It takes courage to come out from behind the mask and let the world see who we really are.
Manic: Dude, this place gives me the creeps!
Sonia: Yeah, especially since it's nice everywhere else.
Sonic: You gotta hand it to Buttnik - he knows how to set a mood. Come on! If Mom was imprisoned here, the records might hold a clue to where she went!
Luke: It's showtime!
Sonia: Now what do we do?
Luke: [clears throat] Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi... [coughs] Oh why?
Sonia: [gasps]
Luke: Why have I been so unjustly imprisoned? Unmask my face and let me look upon... uh... freedom, precious freedom again!
Manic: Huh?
Sonia: Who is that? A prisoner?
Sonic: The big question is "Why a prisoner?"
Manic: Yeah! Buttnik usually just roboticizes 'em.
Luke: Let me oooooouuuut!
Sonia: There's something familiar about that voice.
Manic: Yeah, sounds like Sonic's off-key singing.
Sonic: Very funny(!) Now maybe we can find some answers once we finally get inside! [bursts into the tower] Hmm... Manic, can you hack this hardware? [Manic begins hacking the machine] Manic, I'm waitiiing!
Sonia: [gasps]
Dingo: [giggles]
Manic: [gasps]
Dingo: Stop that, I'm ticklish!
Sonic: Dingo!
Sleet: You're expecting maybe a breastband and the key to the city?
Sonia: [gasps] Sleet!
Manic: Oof!
Sleet: Get them!
Dingo: [growls] [Manic trips him] Whoooaaaa!
Sleet: Ouch!
Dingo: Oof!
Sleet: Ooh, ah, ooh! Grab them, grab them!
Sonia: Heeeee-yah!
Dingo: [strains] Oof! [gets tied up in tape] Hyah!
Sonic: Where's the records about our mom?
Dingo: There aren't any. The tip was a fake. Part of the trap!
Sonia: And the prisoner in the tower - what did he do?
Dingo: Nothing. Robotnik didn't roboticize him because he's important, but- but nobody knows who he is!
Sonia: [gasps] That's terrible!
Sleet: There!
Sonia: [gasps]
Sonic: Last one across the moat's a Buttnik prisoner!
Sleet: The... the hedgehogs got away.
Robotnik: Of course they did. I planned that.
Sleet: Yes, of course you did! Great idea, Robotnik.
Robotnik: Can it, Sleet!
Dingo: I'll tell them the stuff you said to tell him, Robotnik sir!
Robotnik: Excellent. I have a plan we can use to eliminate them permanently! [laughs harshly]
Sonia: Do you know... the man who was a prisoner in this tower?
["Part Of The Problem" plays]
Sonic: Maybe now they'll tell us who the prisoner is. [the citizen still doesn't know] Looks like the only way to find out who that prisoner is is to rescue him ourselves!
Luke: Oh, woe is me! Will I never be free?
Sonic: Huh?
Luke: Help me! Free me!
Sonic: Stand back!
Sonic, Manic and 'Sonia: [gasps]
Luke: [gasps]
Manic: We're gonna have company!
Luke: Leave me!
Sonic: Huh?
Luke: Save yourselves.
Sonic: Not without you!
Sonic and Manic: [gasps]
Manic: [strains]
Sleet: Quick, get up there and make sure those SWATbots don't blow it!
Dingo: [growls]
Sonic: Come on, come on! Let's see ya.
Sonia: In Buttnik's world, there is no justice!
Sonic: Yeah, there's just us!
Manic, Sonia and Luke: Whoa, ahhhh!
Sleet: Huh?
Dingo: Huh? [hits his head] Ugh! [falls] Aaaaahhh!
Luke: Oh no!
Manic: Oh, no!
Sonia: Ahh!
Sonic: Whoa!
Sleet: [sniggers]
Dingo: This may hurt! Aahh! [the cage hits him] Ugh!
Sleet: Uh-oh...
Everyone: Ouch!
Dingo: Ouch! [falls down] Whoooaaaa!
Sleet: Oh... [gasps]
Manic: Congratulations, my man! You have just experienced a righteous Resistance rescue. Now let's bust your noggin outta that loser headgear! It'll only take a sec.
Luke: No, don't! The mask, it's... booby-trapped. If you unlock it... BOOM!
Manic: [gasps]
Luke: Hedgehog hash.
Sonia: Phew! Now that's a visual I didn't need!
Sonic: So who are you anyway?
Sonia: And why's Buttnik got you wearing that metal bonnet? It doesn't do a thing for you!
Luke: You'll pardon my weariness, but... who are you?
Manic: Hey, you are lookin' at the Sonic Underground!
Sonic: Manic, Sonia and me, Sonic!
Sonia: We're the children of Mobius's rightful ruler, Queen Aleena.
Luke: [gasps] Can it really be you? I can't believe it - why, I haven't seen you since you were little hedgehoglets!
Manic: Clarification is in order, man!
Luke: I couldn't expect you to remember me. But I... am your uncle. Your mother's twin brother!
Luke: Ah, the fresh air of freedom!
Sonic: You think he could really be Mom's brother?
Sonia: Well, his voice does sound familiar...
Manic: Besides, why else would Buttnik have him in the clink?
Luke: I managed to conceal these from Robotnik in the hopes that some day I could bestow them upon you.
Sonic, Manic and Sonia: [gasps]
Luke: They bear the royal family crest. Wear them, always!
Sonic: I don't get it. Why the mask? And how come we've never heard of you before?
Luke: It's the law! There can be only one ruler of Mobius. I was forced into exile, and then when your mother vanished, Robotnik imprisoned me, afraid that I would claim the throne!
Manic: Aw, bummer! Major drawback to royalty.
Sonic: Don't worry, bro. When I'm ruler, you won't have to vanish!
Sonia: You? Hah! A ruler needs some culture and sophistication. You can't serve chili dogs at a royal banquet! Besides, I will never wear a mask. Talk about a clashing accessory!
Manic: Hey, I'm the true representative of the people!
Sonia: Hey! I don't recall saying you were the leader.
Manic: Oh, like Miss Perfect doesn't think she's queen already(!)
Sonia: You've got to admit, I look best in a crown!
Sonic: I'm saying that once I'm ruler, I'm sure we can work somethin' out for you two.
Sonia: Hmph. Frankly, I don't think either of you are up to the royal job.
Sonic and Manic: Oh yeah?!
Sonia: Yeah!
Luke: Look out! More of Robotnik's troops!
Sonic and Sonia: [gasps]
Sonic: Hit it, sibs!
Manic: Just because I've lived on the streets all my life doesn't mean I can't handle the crown!
Sonic: Dream on! I'll be wearing the crown.
Sonia: You? I'd look much better in a crown! Diamonds go with my eyes.
Robotnik: [sniggers] Ah, yes! Already the break-up has started, just as I planned. And all it needs is one more little... push.
Manic: Give it more gas!
Sonic: Sure, so the wheels can spin even more!
Sonic, Manic and Sonia: [sighs]
Sonia: If you were to steer Mobius the way you steer a van, then we'd all be on the road to disaster!
Sonic: Yeah, well if you become ruler, I'll vanish on purpose!
Manic: Argh!
Sonic: Just so I don't have to listen to you!
Sonia: Well if that's how you feel, then I'll just leave! Go off by myself.
Sonic: Yeah! This hedgehog never needed anyone before and he doesn't now. [he and Sonia part ways] As of now, the Sonic Underground is through! We each go our own way, and may the best ruler win.
Sonia: Fine!
Manic: Let there be the rule of cool!
Luke: Mind if I accompany you?
Manic: Hike along, Unc.
Robotnik: [laughs heartily]
Luke: So much has changed since I was imprisoned! Where are we going?
Manic: No offense, but if you wanna stop attracting SWATbot attention, we gotta get that mask off your mug, dude! And as it happens, I know this stokin' secret locksmith who can deactivate any booby trap! [sees the Dingo door] Whoa-ho!
Luke: What's wrong?
Manic: This was not here before! [the handle grabs his wrist] Hey! Dingo! [Sleet transforms Dingo back] Run, Unc!
Luke: Oh, I shall!
Sonia: How could Sonic and Manic possibly think they'd be a better ruler than me? I'm the one with the queenly demeanor. Those other two? Ugh! They'd ruin a royal reputation.
Luke: Oh, I agree, my dear niece!
Sonia: Uncle?
Luke: Your brother Manic abandoned me! Not royal material at all in my opinion.
Sonia: And Sonic is just as bad! They both make me so angry!
Luke: Now, now. What would your poor mother think?
Sonia: Huh? [gasps] You're right! Mother would want us to work together.
Luke: [gasps]
Dingo: Sonia!
Sonia: Huh? [gasps]
Dingo: In my arms at last!
Sonic: All I need is to get the van out of the ditch, and I can go on tour as a solo Resistance act. [enters the garage] Anyone here? I need a tow truck! Hmm... maybe they have a wrench I can borrow.
Luke: An excellent idea!
Sonic: [gasps] What? How'd you get here? Where's Manic?
Luke: He's... he's just not suitable as a ruler. I've decided you are. That's why I came.
Sonic: Yeah? How'd you find me?
Luke: Uh, I, um... uhh...
Sonic: Spit it out, Uncle! If that's really who you are, how'd you track me down? [his ring starts glowing] Say...! [a shot lands behind] Aahh!
Sleet: Get him!
Dingo: Oof!
Sonic: Let me give you a lift!
Sleet: [gasps] [Sonic spins him around] Ahh! Whoooooaaaa!
Robotnik: Don't just stand there, you tin-faced twerp! Get in there and do something! Or else...
Luke: Uh, r-right. [his face collides with Sonic's] Ugh!
Sonic: [sighs]
Sonic: Whoa... have I got a Sonic-sized headache!
Sonia: We've got worse troubles than that.
Manic: Imagine us getting sucked into Buttnik's plan like that.
Sonia: He was trying to split us up!
Sonic: And it worked, too! Thanks to-
Luke: Oof!
Sonic and Sonia: [gasps]
Luke: Ohhh...
Sonia: Hey... that's no uncle, that's Luke Periwinkle! The actor! I used to see all of his movies!
Luke: Always gratifying to meet a fan.
Sonic: I always thought he was a ham...
Luke: Huh? I beg your pardon?!
Manic: The mask! It's booby-trapped!
Luke: It won't explode, it was just a surveillance camera. Robotnik forced me to play this role to trick you! He said he'd roboticize me if I didn't do it. But after he caught you, he imprisoned me anyway. [kicks the helmet and it explodes] Whoa, ugh!
Manic: Whoa! It was booby-trapped!
Luke: You mean... my head? Boom? [sighs]
Sonic: Now's our chance. Manic! Can you shed these shackles?
Manic: Whoa, man, no exit!
Sonia: [gasps] [throws a sword to Sonic] Over here!
Manic: The Sonic Underground reunion tour!
Sonia: All hedgehogs for one!
Sonic: And one hedgehog for all.
Sonic, Manic and Sonia: Aargh!
Manic: Drumroll, please!
Sonic: Bad! [notices the curtain above] Wait!
Sonia: Give the word!
Sonic: Now!
Dingo: Argh, I can't see!
Sleet: Oh, I can't steer!
Sleet and Dingo: Whooaaa, aaargh!
Sonic: [gasps]
Sonia: Huh?
Sleet and Dingo: Oh, ow, ahh, ouch!
Manic and Sonia: [strains]
Luke: Now that I'm free, I'm giving up acting. I'm going to join the Resistance!
Manic: You do that, guy.
Sonia: I hate to say it, but I guess we learned a lesson.
Sonic: Yeah! If we ever rule, we do it together!
Manic: But first we gotta get the van outta the ditch where Sonic crashed it.
Sonic: Me? Now wait a Sonic second!
Sonia: Well, you were driving!
Sonic: Yeah, but you were supposed to be watchin' the road.
[The credits roll]

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