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Sonic Boom
How to Succeed in Evil Without Really Trying (Transcript)

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This is a transcript on the Sonic Boom episode "How to Succeed in Evil Without Really Trying".

[Scene: The orchard]

[Sticks is seen trying to pick berries.]
Sticks: No one at the pie festival will guess that beige berries are my secret ingredient! Unless, one of these trees a spy in disguise! [Staring at a tree.] I'm on to you tree! You'll never get the recipe! NEVER!!!
[She gets out her boomerang and aims it at the tree]
Tails: [Arrives in the Tailsmobile.] Hey Sticks! How's tricks? I see you're making beige berry pie.
Sticks: [Looks surprised and talks to her berries.] I don't know what he's talking about! I'm taking you to live on a farm! [Turns her attention back to Tails.] Now, if you will excuse me, I have a few trees left to pick. [Leaves.]
Tails: Looks like you could use some help. Be right back! [Leaves.]

[Scene change: Tails' Workshop.]

Tails: [Singing as he is constructing a berry picking machine.] Grab-claws connected to the trap-jaw! Trap-jaws connect to the scoop-maw! Scoop-maws connected to the positively-charged resistor-cuffing ion-matrix! [Stops singing and tries to turn it on.] Oops, needs voltage. Lot of trees means lot of "v's"! [Walks over to some matrixes.] Nope. Nope. Nope.
[Tails looks out of the window and watches Sonic playing volleyball with himself.]
Tails: Yep!
[Sonic is inside on an exercise machine attached to Tails' invention.]
Sonic: You sure about this Tails? You know how Sticks is about machines.
Tails: But this thing runs on natural energy: yours! It's better than going green, it's going blue!
Sonic: Say when!
[Sonic adds more speed to the machine but it results in an explosion that leaves Tails charred and dazed.]
Tails: When...

[Scene change: The orchard.]

[Sticks is picking berries until Tails' berry picking machine appears and the shaking causes Stick to fall off of her ladder. Sticks jumps over the robot as Tails is controlling it but the robot starts to mow down trees.]
Tails: Well, my work here is done...
[Tails tries to get away but Sticks stops him.]
Sticks: Your machine destroyed the orchard!
Tails: Could be worse! At least you still have the berries.
[The robot crushes up the berries and Sticks looks at Tails angrily. Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles arrive.]
Amy: What happened here?
Sonic: Looks like Tails got himself into a "jam"! Hah! Get it? [Raises his hand.]
Knuckles: Not at all! [Hi-fives Sonic.] But I never leave a hog hanging!
Amy: At least one tree is still standing.
[The Tree Spy runs off.]

[Scene change: An unknown room.]

[Three hooded characters along with the guy disguised as a tree are seen viewing over Tails' actions on a computer.]
Willy: Such senseless destruction... Wonderful!
Weasel Bandit: Our organization could the mind that created this! Send him a crimson letter!

[Scene change: The orchard.]

[Tails is seen planting seeds.]
Tails: I can't believe Sticks is making replant the entire orchard! Now I'm going to miss the pie festival...
[The three hooded characters approach Tails.]
Willy: [Handing Tails a letter.] This is for you!
[Tails tries to open it but is unsuccessful.]
Weasel Bandit: Uh, maybe it will be easier if we just told you.
Willy: Your ingenuity just earned you an invitation to the five monthly, potluck dinner and raffle of the super secret exclusive club known as...
[One of the members plays a tune.]
Willy, Dave and Weasel Bandit:  The Lightning Bolt Society!
Tails: Wow! The Lightning Bolt Society?! Really?! I never heard of it!
Weasel Bandit: That's because it's super secret. Duh! Come! We'll take you to our clubhouse!
Tails: As much as I love to go off with you strangers, my friends left me with an orchard to plant.
[Dave loads some seeds into a device that quickly plants the seeds everywhere.]
Tails: Cool gizmo! How much was it?
Willy: Let's just say, it was a "steal."
Tails: Well, my work here is done! And since I miss the festival, I think I will take you up on that potluck!
Weasel Bandit: We'll divide the membership at once.

[Scene change: Dr. Eggman's lair.]

[Eggman is seen playing a game trying to shoot water at a squirrel.]
Eggman: I've got him now! [He zooms in on the squirrel.] You've stolen your last Sunday paper, you hairy little mutant! [He notices something pop up on his screen.] Ah! Pop-up! Wait, what's this?
Orbot: It appears to be a status update from the Lightning Bolt Society.
Eggman: Pfft! More like "Lightning Dolt Society"! That clever play on words sound indicates that I think they're a bunch of pests.
[Flashback: Outside Eggman's lair]
[Eggman sees the Lightning Bolt Society going through his trash.]
Eggman: Hey you bums, get out of my trash!