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This is the transcript for the Sonic Boom episode, "Mayor Knuckles."
[Scene: Mayor's Mansion, day]
- [Mayor Fink is stamping papers at his desk.]
- Mayor Fink: Habeas corpus. Due process. [stamps the desk] Oops. Authorization to clean desk. [stamps it]
- [Admiral Beaverton clears his throat.]
- Admiral Beaverton: Ready for the fishing trip, old bean?
- Mayor Fink: Oh, no, no, no. Too much approving to do. The town bylaws won't stamp themselves. [grabs another piece of paper from the stack] Self-Stamping Prohibition Act. [stamps it and holds it up] See? If only there was someone to cover for me. [pause] I say, if only there was someone to cover for me? [pause] So we can get the story started?
- [Knuckles enters the office.]
- Knuckles: This is an outrage! A travesty! A plookypluck!
- Mayor Fink: A "plookypluck"?
- Knuckles: I made that last one up. Rule of threes, Your Majesty. Anyway, I'd like this important law passed.
- Admiral Beaverton: [reads it and clears his throat] Henceforth, peanut butter and pickles shall ne'er be packaged in separate containers, as they inevitably wind up in the same sandwich.
- Mayor Fink: I can help you with this, but in exchange, I'll need something from you. Are you prepared to do your civic duty?
- Knuckles: [snickers] You said "civic".
- Mayor Fink: Yes. Citizen Knuckles, I need you to stamp these laws with the mayoral seal between now and, say, 5:30, when the fish stop biting.
- Knuckles: I'm in!
- [Later, Knuckles is playing with the stamp.]
- Wild Cat: Who's in charge here?
- Knuckles: I guess I am!
[Scene change: Sticks' Burrow, day]
- [Sticks is sleeping. A loud noise not only wakes her up, but knocks her out of bed. Outside, Wild Cat is using a jackhammer.]
- Sticks: Hey! Hey! [walks up and knocks on Wild Cat's hardhat with her boomerang; he turns the jackhammer off] What are you doing?
- Wild Cat: The mayor's office just approved construction of a new mall. [shows the document to Sticks] See? [Sticks growls and crumples it]
[Scene change: Mayor's Mansion, day]
- Knuckles: Next! [stamps] Next! [stamps] Next! [stamps] Next!
- Fastidious Beaver: With whom do I speak about adding a new wing to the library?
- Knuckles: With me'm! [grabs a bill from the stack and stamps it] Approved! By the way, I believe the proper pronunciation is "libary".
- Gentleman Wolf: I'd like approval for a parade through town to celebrate my half-birthday.
- Knuckles: Half-birthday approved. [stamps]
- Lady Walrus: I think this village should have moving sidewalks.
- Knuckles: I don't know...
- Lady Walrus: Do you want to live in a world without moving sidewalks?
- Knuckles: Excellent argument. Approved! [stamps]
- [Later, Sonic walks in.]
- Sonic: Hey Knux. Uh, why are you in the mayor's office stamping bills into law?
- Knuckles: I'm doing my civic duty. [Sonic chuckles] Oh, grow up, Sonic. [He chuckles as well] Civic.
- [Sticks enters the office.]
- Sticks: Who's in charge here?
- Knuckles: I am. And I'm doing a good job, too. [he picks up a green pencil, draws himself, and stamps and show the drawing] See?
- Sticks: You approved building a new mall, next to my burrow, [pounds desk] on my land?!
- Knuckles: Sticks, Sticks, Sticks! I approve lots of things next to lots of burrows on lots of people's lands! I can't keep track of all of 'em!
- Sticks: Your recklessness is destroying my home!
- Knuckles: Sticks, don't worry! You know someone on the inside now! Just write up a proposition and I'll ram it through!
- Sticks: [screams] Politics has corrupted you! I'm bringing you down, Knuckles! You, and your goons! [points at Sonic]
- Sonic: Me? What did I do?
- [Sticks growls and stomps out of the office.]
[Scene change: Eggman's Lair, day]
- Dr. Eggman: The trash should have been picked up by now! Where's that garbageman?
[Scene change: Mayor's Mansion, day]
- Fennec Garbage Man: I want to take a few months off. See the trash in other countries. Maybe get some fancy foreign coveralls.
- Knuckles: What's the worst that could happen? [Knuckles pauses for about 12 seconds] See? No consequences! [stamps]
[Scene change: Eggman's Lair, day]
- Dr. Eggman: I can't keep looking at this stack of failed inventions. It's bad enough looking at you two.
- Orbot: Must every random observation circle back to insult us?
- Dr. Eggman: It's not you. I'm just frustrated about the trash situation, you idiots.
- Cubot: Apology accepted.
- Dr. Eggman: That's it! I'm going to City Hall! You lug nuts wait here.
[Scene change: Sonic's Shack, day]
- Sticks: We need to stop Knuckles, and get government out of our lives! What has government ever done for us?
- Sonic: Maintained the fire department. Can't say that's a bad idea.
- [Amy and Tails nod.]
- Sticks: Well yeah, that's true.
- Tails: There's also the sewer system.
- [Sonic and Amy agree.]
- Sticks: Yeah. I definitely don't want that responsibility!
- Amy: And have you tried those new moving sidewalks? Pretty sweet!
- Sticks: You can make all the good arguments you want. But don't come crying to me when Knuckles gets his punchy government fingers all over your lives!
[Scene change: Mayor's Mansion, day]
- Knuckles: Next! What'cha got?
- Lady Goat: Well, it's kind of a long list.
- Knuckles: No time to read a list. Approved! [stamps it] Next?
- Dr. Eggman: [pushes everyone else out of the way] Hey, Nerples. What's with the trash collection? You've got-
- Knuckles: Sorry, Egghead. There's a lot of people waiting. You'll have to take a number. [The dispenser is shown to be empty.]
- Dr. Eggman: It's out of numbers.
- Knuckles: You'll need to fill out a complaint form.
- Dr. Eggman: [grumbling] Can I get one?
- Knuckles: I'd love to help you. Take a number.
- Dr. Eggman: [growls and walks off]
- Old Monkey: I have a request to shout “woo-hoo” in a public place.
- Knuckles: Approved! [stamps it]
- Old Monkey: Woo-hoo! That was the high point of my life.
[Scene change: Meh Burger, day] [Sonic and Tails are each eating a burger.]
- Walrus Male: Move it, pal! I’ve got permission to build my treehouse right here!
- Leroy: And I got permission to build my tunnel right here!
- [Bell rings]
- Wolfie: Out of the way! I’ve got a permit to build my lemonade factory here!
- Sonic: We’d better go sort this mess out.
- [Sonic and Tails race off]
[Scene change: Library]
- Amy: I’d like to check this one out.
- Fastidious Beaver: Impossible! Thanks to the Organised Bookshelf Act, it is now illegal to check out books! Finally, I have protection from people who think books are for reading, and not just sitting neatly in a row on the shelf.
- Amy: [groans]
[Scene change: Village, day]
- Ice Cream Vendor: My ice cream! Why?! Why did the village reverse its ban on flammable frozen treats?!
- Lady Walrus: Help! It’s not moving! I’m stuck!
- Dr. Eggman: Just walk! Use your legs!
- Lady Walrus: My taxes paid for moving sidewalks! No way I’m using my legs!
- Dr. Eggman: [growls and walks off]
- [Leroy, Wolfie and Unnamed Walrus are still arguing]
- Dr. Eggman: That red imbecile has done more damage to this village in a few hours, than I’ve done in years with my ingenious, worthwhile and well-executed plans! Nubbles must be stopped!
- Sonic: As much as I hate to say it, Eggman, we’re with you! Now, we need a plan.
[Scene change: Mayor's Mansion, day]
- Dave: You’ve got to outlaw peanut butter and pickle sandwiches! [bangs on desk] If people realise they can get cheap, barely edible food outside of Meh Burger, I’m out of a job!
- Knuckles: Look at you! You who were once so proud! Go now and never return!
- Dave: I see what’s going on here! You’re in the pocket of big peanut butter and pickles! [gives Knuckles two fingers but accidentally pokes himself in the eyes] Ow! Is there any chance you could stamp some sort of universal healthcare law? [walks off]
- Sonic: Okay, Knuckles, I order you to stand down. Lower the stamp and back away from the desk.
- Knuckles: No!
- Sonic: Well, I’m out of ideas.
- Dr. Eggman: I’m not! [Prepares to fire his laser]
- Knuckles: [Grabs the pencil, writes a law and stamps it] It’s now illegal to use your finger to activate a weapon!
- Dr. Eggman: [growls and uses his elbow instead but accidentally zaps his foot] Ow! Any chance I can get in on that universal healthcare?
- [Sonic, Tails, Amy and Sticks prepare to attack]
- Knuckles: [stamps consecutive laws] No boomerangs! No hammers! No inventions! No spin attacks! No mayonnaise!
- Fastidious Beaver: [groans sadly]
- Amy: Knuckles! [bangs on the desk] You’ve gone mad with power!
- Knuckles: Oh, really? Well, would someone mad with power approve a law giving himself ultimate authority over everything?!
- Sticks: That’s the dictionary definition of mad with power!
- Knuckles: I wish I could corroborate that, but it’s illegal to check books out of the "libary". [tries to stamp the law but nothing happens] Huh? [Knuckles looks at the stamp in confusion.]
- Sticks: Nice try, Knuckles, but I’m afraid your stamp is out of ink.
- [Knuckles stamps it repeatedly before throwing it in disgust. Eggman then picks the stamp up.]
- Sonic: Nice work. Now, destroy the stamp. [Notices Eggman is looking at the stamp] Eggman?
- Dr. Eggman: I'm afraid there's been a slight change of plans. With this stamp, I now rule the village. First order of business: strip waste management of all vacation time! [cackles]
- Knuckles: Oh-oh, contraire mi amigo. Any change to waste management requires Form 48C-13.
- Dr. Eggman: And where do I find that?
- Knuckles: You'll have to take a number.
- Dr. Eggman: [growls and sends in his robots] Find me that form!
- [The robots start trashing the office. Knuckles then launches an attack to which Amy and Sticks start to join in until Knuckles stops them.]
- Knuckles: I believe I outlawed those weapons.
- Sonic: Knuckles, you've got to let us fight! Or else, Eggman's... trash will be collected in a timely fashion?
- Tails: Wait, why are we fighting this?
- Knuckles: Because he picked my stamp up off the ground and seized absolute power! [Knuckles growls and punches the ground, sending Eggman and his robots backwards.]
- Dr. Eggman: [growls until one of his robots hands him a form] A-ha! Now to get some ink! Where's my octopus bot?
- Cubot: Right here, boss! [Halts the robot outside the town hall and fires a blot of ink onto Eggman's stamp]
- Dr. Eggman: [cackles]
- Sticks: [growls and fire a chunk of a robot at the stamp, destroying it]
- Dr. Eggman: Look what you've done! You've created more trash that won't get hauled away!
- Mayor Fink: [enters the room] Ah, it's always good to get away for a few hours. [sees the mess] What the...?!
- Knuckles: Sorry about the mess. But you know how it is being mayor, stamping everything that comes across your desk, regardless of its merits.
- Sonic: You have no idea how happy we are to see you, sir.
- [Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles leave the office whilst Mayor Fink takes another stamp from his desk. Sticks gives Mayor Fink the fingers before walking off]
- Dr. Eggman: Any chance I can get my trash collected?
- Mayor Fink: Take a number. [The dispenser is still empty.]
- Dr. Eggman: [sighs in frustration as the episode ends]
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