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Over the Hill Hero

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This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Over the Hill Hero".

[The episode begins with its title shown on a hill. Someone starts sneezing causing the hill to explode. The camera zooms in on Hill Top Village, revealing the citizens of Mobius to be sneezing violently. One man is confused and scratches his head with his right hand. He then turns to face an elderly lady and a girl in a green bow and skirt. A sneeze bomb lands behind him and he, along with the elderly lady and the girl in the green bow and skirt, start sneezing violently. The camera moves up to Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are riding miniature blimps, revealing them to be dropping sneeze bombs all over the village. They look down as their sneeze bombs hit Hill Top Village below.]

Grounder: Huh, great! Nothing like a few sneeze bombs to clear out a village, eh, Scratch?

[Scratch pulls out a hankerchief with his left hand and blows his beak into it. Grounder flinches as he does.]

Scratch: Ah, much better!

[Grounder points his right index finger at Scratch.]

Grounder: Robotnik gave you sinuses? He didn't give me sinuses!
Scratch: I know! Sneeze bombs away!

[Scratch pulls on his string with his right hand, dropping more sneeze bombs onto Hill Top Village below. The camera zooms out, revealing Sonic and Tails to be watching from a distance. Tails points his left index finger at Hill Top Village.]

Tails: Look, Sonic! There's a big black cloud over Hill Top Village!
Sonic: I see it, Tails! And where there's a black cloud, Robotnik's behind it! I feel the need, the need for speed!

[Sonic runs towards Hill Top Village.]

Tails: Hey, wait for me!

[Tails flies after Sonic. Above Hill Top Village, Scratch points his left index finger down at Sonic.]

Scratch: Look at them run! Fear! Panic! Dread! Terror! Bwahaha!
Grounder: Yeah-hah! Makes you proud to be a robot! Ha ha!
Scratch and Grounder: Oh!

[Grounder pushes Scratch's head down with his right hand and points his left drill at Sonic below.]

Grounder: Look, Sonic's coming!

[Scratch grabs his sneeze bombs below with both his hands and pulls out a single one with his right hand.]

Scratch: So what? This'll slow him down! Bwahaha!

[Scratch drops the sneeze bomb. Sonic looks up and screeches to a halt when he sees it. He screams when it is about to hit him and jumps into the air as it hits the ground. The sneeze bomb bounces off the ground and lands in Sonic's arms. It then sprouts a face and sneezes.]

Sonic: A sneeze bomb, just what I always wanted!

[The sneeze bomb sniffles.]

Captain Rescue: Never fear, Captain Rescue is here!

[Sonic looks up at Captain Rescue, a raccoon, who from at the top of the hill above, looks muscular as the sun shines behind him. Captain Rescue then tumbles down the hill.]

Captain Rescue: Whoa!

[Captain Rescue screams as he hits the ground, and Sonic flinches. Stars spin around Captain Rescue's head, and now that Sonic is standing right next to him, he sees that Captain Rescue is overweight and his suit is tattered. As Tails flies behind Sonic, Captain Rescue stands up and presses a button on his utility belt with his right index finger. The sneeze bomb catcher, which is shaped like a bell, emerges from it and traps Sonic underneath it.]

Sonic: Hey, what are you trying to do?

[The sneeze bomb catcher rings like a bell. Tails runs away as the ringing gets more high pitched and Sonic sneezes, launching the sneeze bomb catcher in the air like a rocket, knocking Captain Rescue over, and creating a cloud of dust. When the dust clears, a hole is revealed. Sonic sneezes three more times while inside the hole. Both Tails and Captain Rescue look inside the hole as Sonic sneezes again.]

Tails: I'll help you, Sonic!

[Tails reaches into the hole with both his hands and pulls Sonic out. As Sonic sneezes again, Captain Rescue plugs his ears with both his index fingers.]

Captain Rescue: I guess my sneeze bomb catcher went a little off course!

[Sonic sneezes again.]

Sonic: A little off course?! Are you a...

[Sonic sneezes again.]

Sonic: ...schmo or what?
Captain Rescue: Schmo? Me? Of course not! I'm a hero!

[The sun shines behind Captain Rescue as he points his right index finger at himself.]

Captain Rescue: I am Captain Rescue, the golden boy of gadgets, the vanquisher of villainy, friend of the friendless, and hope of the hopeless!

[Sonic taps Captain Rescue's right foot with his left index finger twice. He then points the same finger up, and Captain Rescue looks up.]

Sonic: Hey, look!

[Scratch and Grounder's miniature blimps are right above Sonic and Captain Rescue. Scratch and Grounder both laugh evilly as they drop more sneeze bombs.]

Captain Rescue: Oh!

[Sonic jumps out of the hole and grabs Captain Rescue's right arm with both his hands. He runs away with Captain Rescue in tow, just in time as the sneeze bombs land on the ground below and explode. Captain Rescue screams as he is dragged along the ground.]

Sonic: Whoa!

[One of the sneeze bombs hits Captain Rescue on the head, knocking him unconcious. Sonic runs up to him]

Sonic: I gotta let the air out of some robot rats!

[Sonic jumps on Captain Rescue's stomach. Captain Rescue grunts as Sonic bounces off his stomach and into the air. While airborne, Sonic grabs a sneeze bomb in each hand and lands atop Scratch and Grounder's miniature blimps. He shakes the pepper out of them, causing the blimps to sprout faces. Sonic then jumps off the blimps as they sneeze, causing themselves to fly back into each other and explode. Scratch and Grounder fall to the ground below.]

Grounder: Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!
Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho! Whoa!

[Scratch and Grounder's pieces fly into the air. Sonic floats down on a pink umbrella he is holding in his left hand. When he lands, he tosses the umbrella aside, and Tails shakes his right hand with his right hand.]

Tails: Way to go, Sonic!
Sonic: Am I one hot hedgehog or what?

[Captain Rescue grabs Sonic's right hand with his right hand and shakes it.]

Captain Rescue: Nice work, Sonic! Reminds me of great superhero stuff that I used to do! Look!

[Captain Rescue presses a button on his utility belt with his left index finger. A beam zaps from it, creating a yellow burst. When it clears, YOUR PUBLIC LIBRARY PRESENTS: appears in yellow letters. In a flashback scene, a cat can be seen in a tree that has caught fire.]

Captain Rescue: All over Mobius, I had people saying,

[The cat shudders in the tree, until Captain Rescue, who in the flashback looks much more handsome and muscular grabs it with his right hand. It meows as he carries it away. In another flashback, bullets fire from inside the bank, and four bulldog bandits run out, one of them holding a gun in his right hand, and the other three carrying bags of money. Captain Rescue is standing right in front of them, and they screech to a halt as he looks over them. He then runs counter-clockwise around them and ties them up in a rope. The citizens of Mobius cheer and wave their arms in the air as Captain Rescue pulls on the rope with his right hand, which somehow turns the bulldog bandits into giant sausages. In another flashback, a volcano erupts, and as the citizens of Mobius run away from the lava, screaming, Captain Rescue flies up to the volcano.]

Captain Rescue: "Who was that masked raccoon?"

[Captain Rescue presses a button on his utility belt with his right index finger, and a claw emerges from it, which scoops the volcano up. The flashback ends.]

Captain Rescue: I saw you on Mobius TV, Sonic, and I figured you needed my help!

[Captain Rescue puts his right hand on Sonic's back, but Sonic pushes it away with his right hand.]

Sonic: Thanks, but no thanks, old timer!

[Sonic then puts his right hand on Tails' back and points his left index finger at him.]

Sonic: Tails here is my main man.
Captain Rescue: "Old-timer"? "Old-timer"?! Why, I was saving Mobius from bad guys when you were still a hedgehoglet!

[Captain Rescue walks away angrily. Sonic and Tails turn to face each other.]

Tails: I think you hurt his feelings, Sonic!
Sonic: Well, guys like him ought to know when to quit! Robotnik would eat him for lunch!

[The screen transitions to a close-up of Robotnik's teeth as he chomps.]

Dr. Robotnik: Failed again, did you?

[Robotnik points his right index finger at Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are battered and bruised. They are covered in bandages, and Scratch has his right arm in a sling.]

Scratch: Why, no, your supreme awfulness! In fact, we succeeded wonderfully!
Grounder: In a kind of negative way.

[Scratch looks down angrily at Grounder and is about to punch him with his left fist, but Robotnik causes them to fall over.]

Robotnik: Silence!

[Robotnik walks up to a machine, part of which is covered by a tarp.]

Robotnik: You dumb-bots wouldn't know success if it bit you on the bumper! While I, the baron of badness, the knight of nastiosity, am on the brink of my greatest success!

[Scratch and Grounder walk up to the machine as Robotnik removes the tarp with his left hand, revealing the Egg-O-Matic force field, an egg-shaped force field, underneath it.]

Robotnik: My Egg-o-Matic force field! Nothing can penetrate it!

[Robotnik pounds his right fist on the force field. He then pulls out a laser with his right hand.]

Robotnik: No force on Mobius can damage it!

[Scratch and Grounder flinch as Robotnik zaps the force field with his laser.]

Grounder: What's it for?

[Robotnik pulls out a remote control with his left hand.]

Robotnik: Observe!

[Robotnik presses the button on the remote with his left thumb, and the camera moves up to a view of a satellite orbiting the planet Mobius.]

Robotnik: The force field demands incredible power! I need the solar satellite orbiting Mobius to provide it, and Hill Top Village gives me best access to the satellite!

[As Mobius orbits to show Hill Top Village, the camera zooms in on it. the satellite zaps it with a beam of yellow light. The camera zooms out on Mobius as the yellow light shines all over it.]

Robotnik: As the force field expands, I can spread my control over every corner of Mobius!
Scratch: And what happens to the hedgehog?

[The beam of light sprouts a right hand, which grabs Sonic and tosses him aside.]

Robotnik: I'll drive him off the planet!

[Mobius turns to reveal Robotnik's head on the other side. Robotnik laughs evilly. Three birds then fly over Hill Top Village. Inside, Sonic and Tails walk across the road.]

Tails: How do you know Robotnik's robo-goons are gonna attack again, Sonic?
Sonic: Robotnik believes any bad worth doing is worth doing twice!

[Sonic and Tails stop. The latter stares in shock as the former points his right index finger ahead.]

Sonic: And here they come now!

[A trio of robot soldiers holding guns in their right arms march into Hill Top Village, until Sonic, who is disguised as a general, holds up his left hand like a stop sign.]

Sonic: Ten-hut! I order you to halt!

[The robot soldiers put down their guns. Scratch then pushes one of the robot soldiers' legs with both his hands and pokes his head through them.]

Scratch: Hold on! Who do you think you are?

[Scratch points his right index finger at Sonic, who holds up his left index finger.]

Sonic: I'm General Disorder, head of the military intelligence! I have order to lead this platoon in an attack on the rear of Hill Top Village! As per special orders 301, Dash 3, Section 4, Paragraph 27, Revised April 1st, via Secret Provision 38, Section 14, Subsection 14,

[As Sonic continues, Scratch and Grounder look at each other in confusion. Scratch then shrugs his shoulders]

Sonic: Here to for known as Marching Orders number 845, Dash 6, Section 8, Subsection 15, Paragraph 14!

[Scratch screams as he jumps into Grounder's arms.]

Sonic: Got it?!

[Scratch holds his right hand up to his head, and Grounder holds his right drill up to his head.]

Scratch: Right, General Disorder!

[Sonic points his right index finger at Scratch and Grounder.]

Sonic: That's "General Disorder, Sir" to you! Now, out of my way!

[Sonic pushes Scratch aside with his left hand, and Grounder aside with his right as he marches past them. He walks up to the Robot Soldiers.]

Sonic: Forward, march!

[Sonic marches, and the Robot Soldiers follow behind him. They reach a cliff.]

Scratch: Whoa! He's leading them right to the cliff!
Grounder: Huh! That's military intelligence for you!

[At the edge of the cliff, Sonic marches in place, and the Robot Soldiers march off the cliff. They fall and hit the ground with a crash. Sonic holds his left hand up to his head.]

Sonic: Squat, fall out!
Captain Rescue: Halt, villains!

[Scratch and Grounder look up as Captain Rescue lands near them.]

Scratch: Hey, you're the overweight raccoon that helped us out last time!
Captain Rescue: I am Captain Rescue, the golden boy of gadgets!
Grounder: The golden boy of gadgets, eh? Then you're gonna love my gadgets!

[Grounder turns his left drill into a gun. Captain Rescue presses a button on his utility belt with his right hand and a shield with a planet with CR in blue letters on it emerges from it. Grounder fires many bullets at the shield, but they all bounce off it. Captain Rescue then presses a button on his utility belt with his right index finger, and the utility belt fires many daggers. They land clockwise around Scratch and Grounder.]

Scratch and Grounder: Hey!

[Grounder then turns his left drill into a buzzsaw, which he uses to slice through the daggers. He then rolls up to Captain Rescue and swipes his buzzsaw at him. Captain Rescue then dodges the buzzsaw and presses buttons on his utility belt with both his index fingers. A pair of jumper cables emerges from them and they latch onto Grounder's left wrist. The jumper cables electrocute Grounder.]

Grounder: Whoa!
Scratch: Enough dueling gadgets!

[Scratch grabs Captain Rescue's cape with his right hand and pulls Captain Rescue away.]

Captain Rescue: Hey, put me down!

[Scratch shapes Captain Rescue into a ball.]

Scratch: Sure thing! Down to the bottom of the cliff! Bwahaha!

[Scratch kicks Captain Rescue with his right foot. Captain Rescue falls off the cliff.]

Captain Rescue: Whoa-oa-oa-oa!

[Sonic is revealed to be pulling himself back in a slingshot made from a cactus.]

Sonic: That raccoon's gettin' to be a real pain the spine!

[The slingshot launches Sonic, who grabs Captain Rescue's cape with both his hands.]

Sonic: Gotcha!

[The slingshot launches Sonic and Captain Rescue back.]

Scratch: I got him!
Grounder: I got him!
Scratch: They're mine!
Grounder: Not fair! They're mine! They're mine!
Scratch: They're mine!

[Sonic and Captain Rescue fly into Scratch and Grounder, launching them in the air, and when they land, they turn into bowling pins.]

Grounder: Whoa!
Scratch: Ow-how-how!

[Scratch and Grounder spin and fall over. Robotnik then lifts up the screen with both his hands.]

Robotnik: If I can't make my force field big enough to contain Mobius, then with that Raccoon's help, I'll make it just the right size to trap Sonic permanently!
Sonic: You're makin' my work go really slow!
Captain Rescue: I just wanted to help!

[Sonic points his right index finger at Captain Rescue.]

Sonic: Yeah? With help like yours, we don't need badniks!

[Sonic crosses his arms angrily as Captain Rescue walks away sadly. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Captain Rescue is sitting sadly atop a boulder as the camera zooms in on him As the boulder rumbles, Captain Rescue looks below, to see Robotnik pushing it from underneath. The camera moves down to Robotnik.]

Robotnik: Are you Captain Rescue?
Captain Rescue: You know me?

[Robotnik climbs out of the hole below, grabs the boulder with both his hands, and sets it down over the hole.]

Robotnik: Know you? You were my favorite superhero when I was a lad! I still have my Captain Rescue action figure!
Captain Rescue: Well, that was a long time ago. I'm just an over the hill superhero now. At least, so says a certain hedgehog!

[Robotnik pops up behind Captain Rescue.]

Robotnik: You mean Sonic? Oh, don't listen to him! He's always hedgehogging all the glory!
Captain Rescue: He is?

[Robotnik is now upside down as he faces Captain Rescue.]

Robotnik: Sure! I have some great evil fighting gadgets, but he won't let me try em'!

[Robotnik is revealed to be standing on his right foot.]

Robotnik: I think we can fight rottenness just as good as that hedgehog, don't you?

[Robotnik falls over.]

Captain Rescue: Well, uh, I don't know!

[A question mark appears above Captain Rescue's head.]

Robotnik: Sure we can!

[Robotnik snatches the question mark with his left hand and tears it to pieces with both his hands.]

Robotnik: With your gadgets and my genius, we'll team up to grab some bad guys!

[An exclamation point appears above Captain Rescue's head.]

Robotnik: Now, let's show that hedgehog!

[A light shines over the exclamation point as Captain Rescue stands up triumphantly.]

Captain Rescue: Yeah, let's show that hedgehog!

[As the camera zooms out on Captain Rescue, Robotnik chuckles evilly. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic runs down the road, with Tails in tow. Sonic screeches to a halt.]

Tails: What'd you stop for, Sonic?

[The sound of propellers whirring can be heard as Sonic cups his left hand up to his left ear.]

Sonic: I heard something!

[Tails points up with his left index finger.]

Tails: There, in the sky!

[Three remote control airplanes can be seen.]

Tails: Remote control planes!
Sonic: I smell a Robotnik plan! We gotta buzz, cuz!

[Sonic grabs Tails' left wrist with his right hand and runs away, with Tails in tow.]

Captain Rescue: I'm ready!

[The camera moves to the right side of the screen, revealing Robotnik to be hiding behind the boulder, along with his Egg-O-Matic force field generator.]

Robotnik: All right, Captain Rescue! Let's see that super-duper airplane scooper in action!

[Sonic and Tails are revealed to have been watching from a distance.]

Tails: Oh, no! It's Captain Rescue!
Sonic: And it looks like he's in trouble!

[Sonic runs towards Captain Rescue.]

Captain Rescue: Now, I'll stop those pesky planes!

[Captain Rescue presses a button on his utility belt with his right index finger, and his super-duper airplane scooper, which is shaped like a shovel, emerges from it. The remote control planes fly into it.]

Captain Rescue: Uh-oh, uh... a little problem here!

[The remote control planes carry Captain Rescue into the air. Sonic runs onto the platform of the force field generator.]

Sonic: Looks like it's time for a Sonic spin!

[The camera moves to the right side of the screen, where Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder are all hiding behind the boulder.]

Robotnik: Now to spring my trap!

[Robotnik pulls the white lever down with his right hand. Sonic runs in place, then screams as the force field generator traps him in the Egg-O-Matic force field. As he struggles to break out, the super-duper airplane scooper breaks off Captain Rescue's utility belt, and Captain Rescue begins to fall. Tails screams as Captain Rescue lands near him.]

Captain Rescue: Oh!
Tails: Captain Rescue, are you hurt?

[Captain Rescue sits up.]

Captain Rescue: Oh, I'm okay, but look at Sonic!

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder all look over Sonic, who is trapped in the force field.]

Sonic: Let me out of here!

[Robotnik laughs evilly.]

Robotnik: Sonic is trapped in there, and the rest of Mobius is out here!

[Robotnik laughs evilly again.]

Robotnik: And it's mine! It's mine! All mine! All mine!

[Robotnik points his left thumb at himself. The screen fades to black, then to the next scene, where Robotnik looks over Sonic, who is still struggling to break out of the force field..]

Robotnik: With Sonic trapped in the force field, Mobius is mine! Mine! Oh, did I say that already?

[Robotnik laughs evilly as Sonic grunts.]

Sonic: The force field hasn't been made that can hold this hedgehog!

[Sonic spins counter-clockwise, trying to break open the force field, but to no avail. Robotnik walks up to the machine.]

Robotnik: Round and round the hedgehog goes, and then he lands...

[Robotnik pulls the red switch with his right hand, causing the force field to stop Sonic's spinning. Sonic grunts as he lands.]

Robotnik: Right on his nose!

[Robotnik laughs evilly. Sonic curls up and pants heavily as he points his right index finger at Robotnik, who walks up to him.]

Sonic: Get me out of here, you egghead!
Robotnik: Tsk, tsk. Reduced to name-calling? How the mighty have fallen. You can run all you want, Hedgehog, you're not going anywhere ever!

[Robotnik walks away.]

Sonic (to the viewers): I hate to admit it, but old eggs-for-brains might be right!

[Captain Rescue peers out of the bushes and runs up to Robotnik. He points his right index finger at him.]

Captain Rescue: Let Sonic go, or I'll make you sorry you ever tangled with Captain Rescue!

[Captain Rescue presses buttons on his utility belt with both his hands. All his gadgets emerge from it and spin him.]

Captain Rescue: Ow, hey, hey, ow! Let go! Put me down!

[Captain Rescue flies over Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder, then lands in front of them. Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder all laugh at him. Captain Rescue lands in a tree, with stars spinning around his head. Robotnik walks up to him and points his right index finger at him.]

Robotnik: It's obvious that your superhero days were all in the past!

[Robotnik laughs evilly and walks away, with Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are carrying the force field with Sonic inside, following behind him. Tails peers out from behind the tree and grabs Captain Rescue's right arm with both his hands.]

Tails: Let me help you!

[Captain Rescue loses his balance, waves his arms, and falls out of the tree. Captain Rescue grunts as he lands, creating a cloud of brown dust.]

Captain Rescue: This is terrible!

[Tails pokes his body out from underneath Captain Rescue's.]

Tails: It wasn't your fault!

[Tails grunts as he stands up and lifts Captain Rescue above his head with both his hands. He sets him down behind him.]

Captain Rescue: Of course it is! There's no fool like an old fool! Sonic was right. I'm not a superhero anymore!

[Tails points his right index finger at Captain Rescue.]

Tails: Wait! We've gotta save Sonic!

[Captain Rescue walks away sadly as he waves his right hand at Tails.]

Captain Rescue: Find somebody else! I'm no good!

[The screen transitions to a view of Hill Top Village, where Scratch grunts as he and Grounder struggle to carry the force field with Sonic inside.]

Scratch: Careful, Grounder!

[Grounder grunts.]

Grounder: You be careful!

[Scratch and Grounder walk up to a stand in front of a fountain that Robotnik is standing near.]

Robotnik: Be careful, you two!

[The citizens of Mobius stare unhappily as Scratch and Grounder carry the force field with Sonic inside.]

Robotnik: Citizens of Hill Top Village, I am putting Sonic the Hedgehog on display here as an example of what happens to those who defy me!

[Robotnik makes a muscular pose.]

Sonic: Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah! Bet you can't hurt me, bolts-for-brains!
Grounder: Oh, yeah?

[Grounder hits the force field with his right fist, hurting it.]

Grounder: Ow-hoo!

[As Grounder grabs his right wrist with his left hand, the force field becomes too heavy for Scratch to carry alone. Grounder grunts as Scratch loses his balance and falls over.]

Robotnik: Sonic has interfered in my plans for the last time!
Scratch: Look out!

[Robotnik stares in shock as Scratch stumbles back and trips over the stand.]

Robotnik: No!

[Scratch throws the force field into the air, and it lands on Robotnik, crushing him. Robotnik grunts as he is crushed. Grounder rolls up to the force field and picks it up with both his hands. He looks into the hole below.]

Grounder: Uh, sorry, Boss.

[A rope latches onto the force field, and the camera moves up, revealing Tails to be holding it in both his hands. Scratch walks up to Grounder, and they both stare in shock as Tails carries Sonic away. They try to chase after him, but only end up falling in the hole.]

Grounder: Whoa!
Scratch: Whoa!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Tails sets Sonic down atop a house.]

Tails: Gee, Sonic, what am I supposed to do?
Sonic: I wish I knew, keed!

[Sonic and Tails scream as the screen rumbles.]

Sonic: But right now, I'd get the heck out of here!

[In the distance, Scratch and Grounder are seen piloting giant robots resembling the ones from Momma Robotnik's Birthday. Scratch's stops a house flat with its left foot. Grounder then pilots his giant robot over some flattened houses and chuckles.]

Grounder: Nothing like a little urban renewal, eh, Scratch?
Scratch: And to think we get paid for this! Bwahaha!

[Scratch kicks a house down with his giant robot's left foot.]

Grounder: We do?
Sonic: There's gotta be a way out of here!

[The screen transitions to a view outside Captain Rescue's trailer, which the camera zooms in on. Inside, a depressed Captain Rescue is sitting in his chair, watching his television, which is making static noises. Behind him are posters of him from the past. Tails pushes the door open with his right hand and walks inside.]

Captain Rescue: Tails! Uh, how'd you find me?
Tails: I asked round' for the retired superhero part of town. Can... can I come in?

[Tails walks up to Captain Rescue.]

Tails: Wow, look at all this neat stuff!
Captain Rescue: It's all junk now!
Tails: You gotta do something! The badniks are tearing up the village, and Sonic is trapped inside that force field!
Captain Rescue: I'm sorry about that, but I'm no good at this superhero stuff anymore!

[Tails picks up a plunger with both his hands.]

Tails: The Captain Rescue who used this wouldn't talk like that!

[Captain Rescue walks up to Tails.]

Captain Rescue: Actually, I use that to unclog my drains. None of this stuff even works anymore!

[Tails picks up a machine with both his hands.]

Tails: Couldn't you fix it?

[The machine breaks open and the machinery inside falls out.]

Captain Rescue: Oh, I don't know.
Tails: Please, I... I... I'm really scared about Sonic!

[Captain Rescue looks at his reflection in a mirror.]

Captain Rescue: Okay, kid! I'll try!

[A view outside Captain Rescue's trailer is now shown.]

Tails: Yippie!

[Captain Rescue kicks the door open with his left foot.]

Captain Rescue: All right, kid! Let's go kick some robot rear!

[Captain Rescue doesn't look where he's going and falls off the stairs.]

Captain Rescue: Whoa!

[Captain Rescue grunts as he lands with a thud. Tails steps outside and holds up his left thumb.]

Tails: All right, but it's a long way to Hill Top Village! How do we get there?

[Captain Rescue presses a button on his utility belt with his right index finger. The ground under Captain Rescue's trailer turns clockwise, revealing the Rescue Rocket underneath.]

Captain Rescue: The Rescue Rocket!
Tails: Wow! Can I drive?

[Captain Rescue chuckles.]

Captain Rescue: Not a chance!

[The screen transitions to a view of Scratch and Grounder flattening the houses of Hill Top Village with their giant robots. Robotnik flies above them in his Egg-O-Matic hovercraft.]

Robotnik: Wonderful! Soon, Hill Top Village will be destroyed!

[Captain Rescue flies the Rescue Rocket, with Tails in the passenger seat, past Robotnik's Egg-O-Matic, causing it to spin counter-clockwise rapidly. Robotnik groans as he spins, until he eventually stops spinning.]

Robotnik: What was that?!

[Scratch and Grounder pilot their giant robots towards Sonic, who is still sitting atop the house Tails left him on.]

Scratch: What do you think of us dumb robots now, hedgehog?
Sonic: I think you guys are probably too dumb to get out of the way of that!

[Sonic points his left index finger towards the Rescue Rocket. Scratch turns to face it and stares in shock when he sees it.]

Scratch: Whoa!

[Captain Rescue flies the Rescue Rocket towards Scratch and Grounder. They try to pilot their giant robots away, but Captain Rescue picks them up in the Rescue Rocket. He then picks up an anchor with both his hands and tosses it. The anchor latches onto a rock, and the giant robots land on a house, destroying it and them and creating a cloud of pink dust. Scratch groans in pain as he picks himself out of the rubble.]

Scratch: What hit us?

[Robotnik flies down to Scratch.]

Robotnik: It's that wretched racoon! Get him!

[Robotnik points his left index finger at the Rescue Rocket, which lands near the house Sonic is atop.]

Captain Rescue: Captain Rescue to the rescue!
Sonic: Captain Rescue! Will that rocket go wherever you want?
Captain Rescue: It sure will!

[Robotnik flies towards the Rescue Rocket.]

Robotnik: Stop them, and hurry!

[Robotnik looks at the watch on his left wrist.]

Robotnik: We've got two more villages to demolish before lunchtime!

[In the next scene, Sonic is now in the driver's seat of the Rescue Rocket as Tails and Captain Rescue are standing near it.]

Tails: I don't get it, Sonic. How is going up gonna get you out of there?

[Sonic is now wearing a mortarboard.]

Sonic: I've gotta get you started in school real soon, cause' you would learn that air pressure is thin up there!

[Captain Rescue is now wearing a mortarboard.]

Captain Rescue: Sure, and that'll make the force field expand until it bursts!

[Sonic drives the Rescue Rocket away, and into the air. It flies around Robotnik, this time making him spin clockwise rapidly.]

Robotnik: Yeow! Ow! Ow! Oh no!

[Robotnik begins to fall. Tails and Captain Rescue walk away, but Scratch and Grounder walk up to them, holding lasers in their left hands. Grounder chuckles.]

Grounder: Now we got you! Just wait till' Dr. Robotnik sees what we've done!
Scratch: I wonder what he'll say.
Robotnik: Yeow!

[Scratch stares in shock as Robotnik flies towards him and Grounder.]

Scratch and Grounder: Yeow?

[Robotnik flies towards Scratch and Grounder and lands on them with a crash. In space, the Rescue Rocket flies above the planet Mobius, and Sonic tries to break out of the force field.]

Sonic: Force field's gettin' weaker! I'll help it along!

[Sonic spins like a tornado, destroying both the force field and the rescue rocket.]

Sonic: Did it!

[Sonic looks down and stares in shock.]

Sonic: But how am I gonna get down? Oh, yeah.

[Sonic starts falling.]

Sonic: I'll fall!

[Tails and Captain Rescue walk up to Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder.]

Captain Rescue: Surrender, or taste my Badnik Boomerang!

[Captain Rescue pulls out his Badnik Boomerang with his left hand.]

Scratch: Take your best shot, old-timer!

[Captain Rescue tosses his Badnik Boomerang at Scratch and Grounder. It stops right in front of them, then flies back towards Captain Rescue. It rips his utility belt, causing his pants to fall, and exposing white boxer shorts with pink hearts on them. Captain Rescue looks down in embarrassment.]

Captain Rescue: Oh, my!
Robotnik: Bah, those toys of yours are worthless, you old raccoon!
Scratch: Pretty cool underwear, though! Bwahahaha!

[Captain Rescue points his left thumb at himself.]

Captain Rescue: I'm not old! I'm... I'm mature!

[Tails points his left index finger at Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder.]

Tails: You won't be so tough when Sonic gets back!
Robotnik: That hedgehog! Last time I saw him, he was headed for the twin moons of Mobius!
Sonic: But I'm back!

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder all stare in shock at Sonic, who is holding onto a bird's legs with both his hands as the bird descends. When they reach the ground, Sonic lets go and the bird flies away.]

Sonic: Thanks for the lift!

[The bird squawks. Sonic then turns around and stares in shock when he sees Tails and Captain Rescue trapped in the magnet where Grounder's right drill normally is. Robotnik walks up to him.]

Robotnik: Sonic! You're just in time to witness the triumph of terribleness!

[Robotnik points his right thumb at himself.]

Robotnik: In the person of me, Dr. Robotnik!

[Robotnik turns to face Scratch.]

Robotnik: Scratch! Turn Sonic into atomic dust!

[Sonic holds up both his arms as Scratch walks up to him.]

Tails: Captain Rescue, do something!
Captain Rescue: Yes! The trick I pulled back in 1964! My robot trapper!

[Captain Rescue presses a button on his utility belt with his left index finger. The Robot Trapper, which resembles a spring, emerges from it and traps Scratch just in time, causing him to drop his laser.]

Scratch: Hey-hey! What's going on?

[The Robot trapper also traps Grounder as Tails and Captain Rescue escape from his magnet. Scratch and Grounder scream in fear as the Robot trapper squeezes them.]

Robotnik: They've gotten free! Stop them! Hurry!

[Robotnik points his right index finger at Tails and Captain Rescue, and Scratch hops towards them.]

Scratch: We're hopping as fast as we can!

[Sonic jumps into the damaged Egg-O-Matic, presses a button with his right hand, and turns the steering wheel with both his hands. He jumps out as it roars into whatever life it still has, and it scoops up Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder. They all scream as it bounces them around. Sonic then shakes Captain Rescue's right hand with his right hand.]

Sonic: Great job! Fantastic Job! I couldn't have done it better myself!
Captain Rescue: You really mean that, Sonic?
Sonic: I blew it when I put you down! You've still got moves I'll never have!

[Tails walks up to Sonic.]

Tails: Next to Sonic, you're my favorite hero!
Captain Rescue: Thanks, Tails!
Sonic: When I need advice, or a Badnik badland invention, I'm comin' to you!

[Sonic and Tails walk away as the former waves his left hand at Captain Rescue. Captain Rescue waves his right hand back.]

Captain Rescue: I'll be there!
Sonic: See you, partner!
Captain Rescue: See you!

[The sound of Sonic running away can be heard.]

Captain Rescue: I like that hedgehog!

[The screen fades to black, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says

[The camera moves across the forest until it reaches Tails and Captain Rescue.]

Tails: I think we're lost, Captain Rescue.
Captain Rescue: All we have to do is head north.

[An old bear in blue overalls walks up to Tails and Captain Rescue.]

Old Bear: Lost, eh? Eh, don't you young folks now that moss grows heaviest on the north side of a tree?

[The Old Bear points the cane he is holding in his right hand at the moss on a tree. Tails walks up to the tree and rubs the moss with his right hand.]

Tails: Thank you, Sir!

[As Tails and Captain Rescue walk away, Captain Rescue points his left thumb at the Old Bear.]

Captain Rescue: Thanks!

[Captain Rescue and Tails walk out of the forest and onto a path.]

Tails: That old bear really knew what he was talking about!
Captain Rescue: Right, Tails! Older people can be very wise, and they often know the right direction to take in life!
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