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Sonic is Running
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This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Sonic is Running".

Note: Scenes that were cut from certain reruns are highlighted in red.

[The episode begins with a view outside Robotnik's fortress as the camera zooms in on it. Inside Robotnik's fortress, Robotnik is welding his Robo-matic machine.]

Scratch: Excuse me, O Treacherous One,

[Robotnik turns to his left side and lifts his goggles with his left hand. He then pulls a handheld computer with his right hand and presses a button on it with his left index finger. An image of Scratch appears on the computer's screen.]

Scratch: But your Mother is here to see you!

[Scratch points his left thumb behind himself. Robotnik frowns upon hearing what Scratch said.]

Dr. Robotnik: Oh no!

[Robotnik runs up to a suitcase on his desk and opens it with his right hand. He picks up an apple, two light bulbs, and a screwdriver with both his hands and puts them in his suitcase, then he picks up a keyboard with his right hand and puts it in his suitcase.]

Robotnik: Which means I'm taking a trip!

[Robotnik closes his suitcase with his left hand, then grabs the handle with his right hand and runs away. He then closes the front door to his fortress with his left hand and locks four locks with his right. He runs away, then comes back, carrying a plank of wood in both his hands, which he puts over the handles. He then runs away again, then comes back, carrying a chair in both his hands, which he sets down in front of the door. He then climbs onto the chair and turns his back against the door.]

Robotnik: Phew!

[Momma Robotnik breaks down the door, flattening Robotnik and creating a cloud of grey dust. Momma Robotnik emerges from the dust, carrying her handbag in her left hand, and she proceeds to open the door with her right hand. Robotnik waves his right hand at her.]

Robotnik: Oh, Momma, what a lovely surprise!

[Robotnik groans as Momma Robotnik grabs his left ear with his right hand and pulls him forward by it.]

Momma Robotnik: Don't you "Momma" me! I've never been so humiliated in all my life! My friend Cora at the home has a son who was just elected President of his garden club!

[Robotnik growls as he struggles to free himself from Momma Robotnik's grip.]

Momma Robotnik: Why can't you be elected President? Just because you're feared and loathed all over the planet,

[Robotnik groans as Momma Robotnik lets go of him. He then places his left hand over his left ear and rubs it.]

Momma Robotnik: That's no reason you can't be popular!
Robotnik: But Momma, I hate gardening!

[Robotnik walks away. He walks onto a rug, which Momma Robotnik grabs one end of with both her hands.]

Momma Robotnik: Numbskull!
Robotnik: Huh?

[Robotnik screams as Momma Robotnik pulls the rug from below him, causing him to trap and land on his body. He puts both his hands on his head.]

Robotnik: Ow! I wish it was numb!
Momma Robotnik: I want you to run for President of Mobius!
Robotnik: You mean have an election? That sounds disgustingly like being fair!

[Momma Robotnik raises both her fists at Robotnik as she growls at him.]

Robotnik: Not that there's anything wrong with being disgusting.
Momma Robotnik: Then get going! I can't wait to be First Momma of Mobius!

[Robotnik turns his head to his right side.]

Robotnik: Scratch! Grounder!

[Scratch and Grounder run up to the hole where the door was.]

Scratch: Yes, your malevolence! Who do you want crushed or liquidated or terrorized? Bwahaha!
Grounder: Or maybe even scared a little?

[Robotnik walks up to Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: Oh, uh, no one. Make up a million "Robotnik For President" posters with my picture and paste them up all over Mobius!
Scratch: But Dr. Robotnik, we're vicious evil robots! Running for election is... legal!
Robotnik: Do as I say, or I'll grind you down into iron filings!
Grounder: One million posters comin' up!

[Scratch and Grounder run away. They run up to a press machine and Scratch squawks as he trips over Grounder. Grounder turns the handle of the press machine with his left drill and posters with Robotnik's picture that say, "Robotnik For Prez!" fly out of the press machine. One of the posters is used as a transition to the next scene, where one of the posters is pasted onto a fence. Sonic runs up to the poster and looks at it. There are many more posters on the fence behind him.]

Sonic: Ugh! A little late for Halloween, isn't it?

[Tails flies up to Sonic, who points at the poster with his right index finger.]

Sonic: The whole city's plastered with em'!
Tails: You don't think he could win, do you, Sonic?
Sonic: Not if I have anything to say about it, Tails! And I will!

[Sonic points at himself with his right thumb.]

Sonic: Catch you later, little bro!

[Sonic runs away. Meanwhile, Scratch and Grounder are standing near a bulding that has "Robotnik For Prez!" posters pasted all over it. Grounder spreads paste onto an empty spot on the building with a paintbrush where his right drill would be. Scratch, who has a bag of posters on his back, then unfolds one of the posters with both his hands and spreads it onto the paste. He smiles at the poster, and as he and Grounder look at each other, Sonic runs past the poster, drawing goofy hair and a hole where one of Robotnik's teeth would be on the poster. Scratch and Grounder look at the poster in confusion.]

Scratch: That's not how the rest of them look! I'm sure...

[Before Scratch can finish, the sound of Sonic running can be heard. Scratch and Grounder look over at the other posters. Some have goofy hair and goatees, while others have devil horns and pitchforks, the latter of which Robotnik is holding in his right hand. Scratch takes one of the posters out of his bag with his right hand and unfolds it with both his hands. Sonic runs past the poster, drawing devil horns, a goatee, and a picthfork wich Robotnik is holding in his left hand on it. Scratch and Grounder gasp when they see the poster. Scratch scratches his head with his right hand.]

Grounder: Is it just me, or does Dr. Robotnik photograph kind of goofy?

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Wes Weasely, who is dressed in a winter coat, is standing next to a Polar Bear, who picks up a refrigerator from a dump truck with both his hands. He grunts as he struggles to lift the heavy refrigerator, then sets it down behind the dump truck. Weasely holds up his right index finger.]

Wes Weasely: Believe me, Pallsey, you won't regret buying this little baby!

[Weasely runs up to the refrigerator and presses the ice dispenser button with his left index finger. The refrigerator dispenses ice into a cup.]

Weasely: Ice dispenser!

[The Polar Bear looks over at the pile of coins in his left hand and scratches his head with his right.]

Weasely: Ah ah ah, no second thoughts! All sales are final!

[Weasely wags his left index finger at the Polar Bear and takes the coins from him with his right hand. He then looks up and gasps as Robotnik lands his Egg-O-Matic hovercraft, with him and Momma Robotnik riding it, near him and the Polar Bear. Robotnik and Momma Robotnik jump out of the Egg-O-Matic and walk up to Weasely.]

Weasely: D-d-Doctor Robotnik! Sir! Listen, about that time I helped Sonic, it, it was business, nothing personal!

[Robotnik puts his right hand on Weasely's back and pulls him forward.]

Weasely: Whoa!
Robotnik: Forget the past, Wes. Let's talk about the future!

[Robotnik points his left index finger at Weasely.]

Robotnik: Your future managing my campaign for President!
Weasely: What is this, a joke? Heh, no offense, Doc, but even I wouldn't help elect a ruthless, power-mad tyrant like you!

[Momma Robotnik grabs Weasely by his neck with her left hand. Weasely gasps as she pulls him forward.]

Momma Robotnik: Who dares to call my little darling a tyrant?!

[Weasely chuckles nervously as Momma Robotnik turns him towards Robotnik with her right hand.]

Weasely: Did I say "Tyrant"? Heh heh! I take it back! Compared to you, he's as meek as a lamb!
Momma Robotnik: That's better. Show him, Sonny!

[Robotnik pulls out a sleigh filled with coins with his left hand. Coins suddenly appear in the irises of Weasely's eyes as the camera zooms out on ac lose-up of his face.]

Weasely: Dr. Robotnik, Pallsey, you're looking more Presidential every second! Yes, sir! Well, what are we waiting for, Mr. President?

[Weasely picks up the sled with both his hands and puts it in the Egg-O-Matic. He then grabs Robotnik's left arm with his right hand and Momma Robotnik's right arm with his left hand.]

Weasely: Time is valuable!

[Weasely jumps into the Egg-O-Matic, with Robotnik and Momma Robotnik in tow. Robotnik starts up the Egg-O-Matic and flies away in it, leaving a cloud of pink smoke behind. The screen transitions to the next scene, where a news report with Collie Chang is shown on a television screen. A box that says, NEWS OR WHAT COLLIE CHANG can be seen in the upper right corner of the screen.]

Collie Chang: In the official race for President of Mobius, the latest poll shows the former,

[A picture of Henry Walrus appears in the box.]

Collie: Henry Walrus with a 90% lead. Long-regarded as one of our outstanding leaders, Henry Walrus seems sure to be our next President.
Weasely: Boring!

[Robotnik is revealed to be watching the news report from the Monitor in his Egg-O-Matic.]

Collie: At the bottom of the poll with .01% apiece,

[A circle with a mosquito in it can be seen in the upper-right corner of the screen.]

Collie: Are mosquitoes,

[Germs can now be seen in the circle.]

Collie: The plague,

[A finger with a bandage on it can be seen in the circle.]

Collie: Papercuts that don't heal, and...

[An image of Robotnik can be seen in the circle.]

Collie: Dr. Robotnik.

[Momma Robotnik growls, then pulls the monitor out of the Egg-O-Matic with both her hands. Before she can toss it, Weasely points his left index finger at her.]

Weasely: Relax, Madame! First, we'll start some malicious rumors about Henry Walrus! Then, we'll give your son an image they can't touch! Robotnik, the family man!
Robotnik: Why, you idiot! I have no family to speak of!

[Momma Robotnik tosses the monitor aside with her left hand. Robotnik screams, then ducks his head into his shirt, dodging the monitor. Momma Robotnik walks up to him.]

Momma Robotnik: What do you mean?! I'm your family!

[Beads of sweat pour down Robotnik's face.]

Robotnik: Exactly how could I forget?

[Weasely holds up his left index finger.]

Weasely: I see your point, but I have a solution!

[Robotnik flies away. In the next scene, Robotnik, Momma Robotnik, and Weasely are standing next to the Robo-Matic machine as Weasely holds up a dozen cans of hair spray over it.]

Weasely: A dozen cans of hair spray,

[Weasely drops the cans of hair spray into the Robo-Matic machine. He then runs away, then comes back, carrying a tub of tubes of Scrubby Happy Toothpaste, which he pours into the Robo-Matic machine.]

Weasely: A gross of toothpaste,

[Weasely runs away, then comes back, holding a shovel filled with mascara in both his hands.]

Weasely: A little mascara,

[Weasely dumps the mascara into the Robo-Matic machine, then pushes the shovel in it. Scratch and Grounder, both of whom have irritated expressions on their faces, lean against the door.]

Weasely: And, for public speaking, a broken record!

[Weasely is now holding a record in his left hand. He breaks it in half, then tosses it into the Robo-Matic machine. Weasely back up, then steam emits from the Robo-Matic machine as it whistles. Weasely, Robotnik, and Momma Robotnik all stare at the machine, the former in awe, and the latter two in disgust. A cloud of steam fills the room]

Weasely: And voila! The politician's perfect mate, RoboWife!

[RoboWife emerges from the cloud of steam, holding a tray of cookies in both her hands.]

RoboWife: Cookies, anyone?
Robotnik: I don't know about this, Wes. I tried having a wife once, and it didn't work out!
Weasely: You just have to try again! You can't get elected without one, the voters expect it!

[RoboWife sets her tray of cookies down on the counter, then puts her left hand on Robotnik's right arm as the camera zooms in on her]

RoboWife: I've shared my entire life with his wonderful man, and I know Dr. Roobotnik will be the best President Mobius ever had!
Robotnik: Uh, it's "Robotnik", my dear.
RoboWife: You're absolutely right, darling!

[Weasely is now standing next to the counter with a snake basket on it. Robotnik walks up to him.]

Weasely: Now, all you need is a pet!
Robotnik: Ah, we can use Spalding, my spitting cobra!

[Robotnik lifts the lid to Spalding's basket with his left hand. Weasely stares in shock as Spalding rises from inside the basket. Spalding spits at Weasely, and his spit lands on Weasely's shirt. Weasely wipes the spit off with a tissue he is holding in his right hand.]

Weasely: Oh, no no no, we can't!

[Weasely takes the lid to Spalding's basket with his left hand and puts it back on Spalding's basket.]

Weasely: But not to worry, we can get you... a dog!
Robotnik: Absolutely not! Canines detest me! And it's mutual.

[Weasely is now standing next to the Robo-Matic machine.]

Weasely: By "Get", I mean build you a dog!

[The Robo-Matic machine opens as Weasely holds out a golden heart in his right hand.]

Weasely: A heart of gold! So don't freak out when you see my expense I got.

[Weasely drops the golden heart in both his hands. He runs away, then comes back, carrying a windshield with a windshield wipers in both his hands. The windshield wiper wipes the windshield.]

Weasely: A tail that never stops!

[Weasely drops the windshield in both his hands. He runs away, then comes back, holding a toilet in both his hands.]

Weasely: A toilet, so he's potty-trained!

[Weasely drops the toilet in the Robo-Matic machine. He runs away, then comes back, holding a bucket of slobber in each hand.]

Weasely: And a couple of buckets full of slobber!

[Weasely drops the buckets into the Robo-Matic machine. He runs away, then comes back, carrying a checkerboard in both his hands.]

Weasely: Oh, and he's gotta love playing games!

[Weasely drops the checkerboard into the Robo-Matic machine. It closes, then whistles. A cloud of steam fills up the room, and Weasely and Robotnik stare, the former in awe, and the latter in disgust. RoboDog runs out of the cloud and barks excitedly. He gets on his back as the cloud disappears.]

Weasely: Good RoboDog!

[As RoboDog whimpers excitedly, Weasely gets on his knees and rubs RoboDog's stomach with his right hand.]

Weasely: He loves to fetch, and he's very obedient!
Robotnik: All right, I'll try him. Heel!

[Robotnik points his left index finger at RoboDog, who looks down at Robotnik's left heel and bites it. Robotnik screams in pain as he puts both his hands on his head. Weasely gasps then ducks down. He is now holding mechanical jaws of life in his right hand as he pulls the ripcord with his left hand. As he talks to Robotnik, he uses the mechanical jaws of life to free Robotnik's left heel from RoboDog's mouth.]

Weasely: Oh, isn't that cute? He thought you wanted him to fetch your heel!

[Weasely sets RoboDog and the mechanical jaws of life down next to Robotnik, who glares angrily. RoboDog runs across Robotnik's fortress, and into his closet. Robotnik chases after him and closes the door with his left hand. Inside the closet, RoboDog pants, then growls angrily.]

Weasely: Doc, baby, you're all gonna look great in the TV spots, cause' we're gonna shoot em' in a new process; Hypnovision!

[Hypnotic trances fill up Weasely's glasses.]

Robotnik: Hypnovision? Mmmm!

[Robotnik holds up his left index finger as the camera zooms in on him.]

Robotnik: That's such a brilliant idea! I should have had it myself!

[The sceen transitions to a view outside Bert's diner as the camera zooms in on it. Inside Bert's diner, Sonic is sitting at a booth as several other Mobians, including caricatures of Batman and Superman are sitting at the counter. The camera zooms in on Sonic. Bert Whoo pushes a cart with a Chili Dog Flambé, and Roxy follows behind him.]

Bert Whoo: Chili Dog Flambé!
Roxy: On the house!

[Bert pushes the cart towards Sonic's booth.]

Sonic: Whoa! Thanks, Bert! Thanks, Roxy!
Bert: Anything for you, Sonic. You got a lot of sand to keep buttin' heads with Robuttnik! I can't believe that polecat's runnin' for office!

[Sonic points up at the TV with his left index finger.]

Sonic: Hey, is this one of his ads?

[Bert and Roxy look up at the TV, which the camera zooms in on. On the screen, an obvious staged backdrop of the city is shown.]

Weasely: Haven't you ever wanted to return to a simpler time in Mobius, when we had simple virtues?

[As Weasely talks, Robotnik, RoboWife, and RoboDog, the former of whom is dressed in a red plaid shirt, walk onto the stage.]

Weasely: And simple people?

[RoboDog sits down, then looks over at a cat. The cat gulps and stares in fear when it sees RoboDog, then runs away. RoboDog growls and chases after the cat.]

Robotnik: Heel, boy!

[RoboDog turns around when he hears Robotnik. Robotnik and RoboWife both stare in shock, and RoboDog bites Robotnik's right heel.]

Robotnik: Ow!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Robotnik is holding a crutch in his right arm, as his right leg is in a cast. He grumbles as he limps up to RoboWife, with RoboDog following him. RoboDog growls, and Sonic laughs hysterically. He then turns to face Bert and Roxy.]

Sonic: Huh?

[Bert and Roxy have blank stares on their faces, as do the rest of the citizens of Mobius.]

Sonic: Come on, this is so lame, it's funny!

[A hypnotic swirl appears briefly on the screen.]

Sonic: Hey, what was that?
Bert: Didn't see a darn thing.
Roxy: Me neither.

[Sonic picks up his knife with his right hand.]

Sonic: Well, I did!

[A pie appears on the screen.]

Weasely: Remember simple family values? Like apple pie, and Mom!

[Momma Robotnik, who is wearing a green dress with a white apron, appears, frowning.]

Weasely: Smile and pick up your pie!

[Momma Robotnik grabs the pie with both her hands, but it is very hot. She screams in pain as she drops the pie, which breaks through the table, then she blows on her dress as she dusts it off with both her hands. As she is about to grab the camera, a hypnotic swirl appears on the screen. Momma Robotnik is now holding a boxed pie in both her hands.]

Sonic: Didn't you see it? There it was again!
Bert: What? See what?
Roxy: I guess your eyes are faster than ours, Sonic.

[In the next scene, Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are dressed in flagman uniforms, grunt as they struggle to pull up tthe Mobius Flag. Robotnik is standing next to RoboWife, with his left hand on her left shoulder, and the Mobius Flag can be seen waving in the background.]

Weasely: Isn't it time we had a President like Dr. Robotnik, who cares about apple pie, Mom, and the Mobius flag?

[As the Mobius Flag reaches the top, the flagpole breaks from the bottom. Scratch and Grounder grunt, then stare in shock. The flagpole lands on Robotnik's head, and a lump forms on it, which he covers with his right hand.]

Robotnik: Ow! You morons!
RoboWife: You're absolutely right, darling!

[Sonic laughs hysterically.]

Sonic: Oh, man! You'd have to be hypnotized to vote for a guy that bogus!

[Sonic slams his right fist on the table, then looks over at the hypnotized citizens on Mobius as the camera zooms out on them.]

Sonic: I say something wrong?
Bert: He's slamming our candidate!

[As Bert talks, he swings his left fist at Sonic, while Roxy points her left index finger at Sonic. As the citizens of Mobius talk indistinctly, Sonic runs away as Bert tries to attack him. One of the citizens breaks a chair he is holding in both his hands. Sonic jumps onto a barstool, then jumps off it as another citizen tosses a wooden footstool at him. Sonic then ducks, dodging a pie someone throws at him. He looks back at it as Tails flies up to him.]

Tails: What happened, Sonic? I just heard on the radio that Robotnik could be our next President!
Sonic: Yikes!

[Sonic dodges a bunch of baguettes that someone throws at him. He then holds up his right fist.]

Sonic: Not a chance, Tails, because I'm running for president! I'll fight fire with fire! Speaking of which, look out!

[Bert pushes his cart with the Chili Dog Flambé towards Sonic, with Roxy and the other hypnotized citizens of Mobius following behind him. Sonic runs out of Bert's Diner, with Tails flying behind him.]

Sonic: I may be running for president, but now I'm just running!

[Bert runs out of his diner, then holds up his left fist.]

Bert: Make fun of our next President again, and you'll get worse than that!

[The screen fades to black. In the next scene, Sonic and Tails stop at an alley plastered with "Robotnik For Prez!" posters.]

Tails: Hey, what's got into Bert?
Sonic: Those Robotnik commercials on television must have some hypno thing that's too fast for anyone to pick up on, except me.
Tails: Glad I didn't see em'! But if everyone's hypnotized to vote for Robotnik, how can you win for President?

[Sonic points at Tails with his right index finger.]

Sonic: The main thing is to make Robuttnik lose, and you're forgetting; there isn't a race run I can't win!

[Sonic points at himself with his right thumb, then runs past all the "Robotnik For Prez!" posters, drawing goofy hear, goatees, devil horns, and pitchforks on them. He then looks up at a loudspeaker.]

Robotnik Loudspeaker: Vote Robotnik for President! I am the best! I'm right in the fight against Sonic! Vote...

[The camera moves up to the loudspeaker, which is at the top of the building, near a "Robotnik For Prez" poster. Sonic then turns to face Tails.]

Sonic: Scuse' me a sec!

[Sonic runs up to the top of the building. He pulls out a pair of scissors, which he is holding in his left hand, and picks up the film reel with his right. He stretches out the film reel with his left index finger and thumb, then cuts off a piece of film with the scissors. He tosses the scissors aside, then puts the film reel back onto the tape player with both his hands. He then runs back down to the bottom of the building.]

Robotnik Loudspeaker: Robotnik is a pest! Write in Sonic for President!
Tails: Real smart, Sonic, editing those tapes to make Robotnik look bad!

[Sonic rubs both his hands together.]

Sonic: I'm just gettin' warmed up!

[The screen transitions to a news report with Collie Chang. In the upper-right hand corner, a graph with pictures of Henry Walrus Robotnik can be seen. Henry's red bar is between the numbers 30 and 50, while Robotnik's is almost at 100.]

Collie: The "Robotnik For President" bandwagon is gaining strength as the candidate sets off on a whistle-stop tour across Mobius!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place on the streets of Mobius, and the camera moves over to Robotnik, Momma Robotnik, RoboWife, and Robo-Dog, who are all standing in front of a limousine, as the citizens of Mobius cheer. Robotnik waves both his arms in the air.]

Robotnik: They like me! They really like me!
Momma Robotnik: What did I tell you? You conquer with cleverness and money, not brute force!
Robotnik: Yes, I could get to like this!

[The camera zooms out on Robotnik as Wes Weasely walks in, carrying a camera around his neck, and holding it in his left hand.]

Weasely: Plunge in, and I'll get some pictures of you being friendly!
Robotnik: Being what?
Weasely: Oh, sorry. That means shake their hands, try a bite of their food, and don't insult them!

[Weasely picks up his camera with both his hands as he attempts to take a picture of Robotnik.]

Robotnik: I don't know which is worse; eating food with no eggs, or pretending to be friendly!

[Weasely takes a picture of Robotnik, who points his right index finger at him.]

Robotnik: You're asking a lot of me, Weasely!

[The camera moves over to Tails, who is carrying a box in both his hands as he flies into an alley. He sets the box down near Sonic.]

Tails: I found a dumpster!

[As Tails talks to Sonic, he takes out an old cigar butt, a used coffee filter, and a piece of blown tire with his right hand, and sets them down near Sonic..]

Tails: I got an old cigar butt, this used coffee filter, a piece of blown tire,

[Tails plugs his nose with his left hand as he takes out a bicycle seat with his right. Stench lines emit from the bicycle seat.]

Tails [in a nasal voice]: And this old bike seat was buried uner a bunch of fish heads!
Sonic: Perfect, Tails! Now we're gonna put a little spikes in Robotnik's campaign!

[Sonic picks up the box with both his hands and runs away. Meanwhile, the citizens of Mobius Cheer as Robotnik is now standing next to a blue cat lady in a pink robe, who is holding a dish with an egg roll on it in both her hands.]

Robotnik: Your egg roll, uh, smells delicious!

[Robotnik picks up the egg roll with his right hand, but before he can eat it, Sonic runs past him, replacing the egg roll with the cigar butt. Robotnik puts the cigar butt in his mouth and chews on it, but soon finds it tastes terrible. He is about to spit it out, but Weasely runs up to him and puts both his hands on his body.]

Weasely: Are you nuts?! If you want these votes, you'd better eat that!

[Robotnik swallows the cigar butt. He then walks up to a grey cat in a yellow shirt with a green jagged stripe, orange pants, and a straw hat. The cat is holding a dish with a taco on it in both his hands.]

Robotnik: Ah, I love Tacos!

[Robotnik picks up the taco with his right hand, but before he can eat it, Sonic runs past him, replacing the taco with the coffee filter. Robotnik chews on the coffee filter, but finds it too, tastes terrible. He looks over at Weasely, who nods his head, "No", and Robotnik swallows the coffee filter. Robotnik cringes, then walks up to a tan dog in a chef hat and apron, who is holding a dish with a piece of pizza in his left hand. Robotnik picks up the piece of pizza with his right hand and sniffs it. Before he can put it in his mouth, though, Sonic runs past him, replacing the piece of pizza with the piece of blown tire. He chews on it, then looks over at Weasely, who is holding his camera in his right hand as he signals Robotnik with his left. Robotnik continues chewing on the piece of blown tire and swallows it. He and Momma Robotnik are now standing next to a tan lady poodle with blonde hair, wearing a red beret, a pink and purple striped shirt, and pink pants. She is holding a dish with a croissant in her left hand. Robotnik picks up the croissant with his right hand, but before he can eat it, Sonic runs past him, replacing the croissant with the bicycle seat. Robotnik chews on the bicycle seat, but decides not to swallow it this time, and instead spits it out. Momma Robotnik and the Lady Poodle both stare at him, the former angrily, and the latter in shock. Robotnik then wipes his lips with his right hand.]

Robotnik: Oh, where did you idiots learn how to cook, a garbage dump?

[Robotnik's insults towards the Citizens of Mobius causes the hypnotic effects of his commercials to wear off on them. They all growl angrily at him. Weasely puts his right hand on Robotnik's body to try to protect him.]

Weasely: Your lousy manners are ruining the hypnovision! We gotta run, literally!

[Robotnik and Weasely both run away as the Citizens of Mobius toss their food at them. The screen transitions to the next scene, where a view of the top of a suspension bridge is shown. The camera moves to the bottom of the screen, where Weasely is about to take a picture of Robotnik, who is about to be handed the scissors to cut the ribbon by the Pig Mayor, who is holding the scissors in his left hand. Robotnik leans toward Weasely.]

Robotnik: Are you sure nothing will go wrong this time?
Weasely: Relax! I got Scratch and Grounder on security detail!

[An overhead view of Scratch and Grounder, who are wearing pressman hats, sunglasses, neckties, and earpieces, is shown as the camera zooms in on them. Grounder pulls his earpiece out of his ear with his left drill.]

Grounder: Hey, this thing isn't working! What's the score?

[Scratch pulls his earpiece out of his ear with his right hand.]

Scratch: Seven to six.

[Scratch and Grounder put their earpieces back in their ears as Sonic, who is disguised as a construction worker, and holding a wrench in his left hand, walks up to them.]

Sonic: Hey, Mac! Gotta do a safety inspection!

[Sonic points at the suspension bridge with his right thumb.]

Scratch: Fine, yeah, sure! Uh, don't bother us!

[Sonic walks past Scratch and Grounder. He is now holding his wrench in both his hands and he uses it to unscrew the bolts to the pillar of the suspension bridge.]

Sonic: Ugh! Talk about tight security! I'll help these guys to loosen up!

[Sonic runs away, then across the suspension bridge to the other side. Robotnik is now holding the scissors in his right hand as he shakes the Pig Mayor's left hand with his left. Robotnik cuts the ribbon on the suspension bridge, causing it to wobble. Weasely is about to take a picture, but when he hears the suspension bridge creak, he looks up and stared in shock. He hides behind his camera as the suspension bridge falls apart. The hypnotized Pig Mayor shakes his head, and the hypnotic effects over him wear off. As the camera zooms out on him, he stares angrily at Robotnik, and points his right index finger at him, and his left at the collapsed suspension bridge. The citizens of Mobius all jeer angrily as this happens. In the next scene, Momma Robotnik and RoboWife are on the caboose of a train as Robotnik and Weasely run up to them. They jump onboard, and Robowife pulls Weasely up by his arms with both her hands, while Momma Robotnik does the same with Robotnik. The Pig Mayor, as well as several security guards, including another pig, a bulldog, and a crocodile, all chase after the train. Weasely tosses his camera aside with his left hand.]

Weasely: So much for Photo ops! Let's concentrate on tonight!

[Robotnik turns to face RoboWife.]

RoboWife: Think of it; Collie Chang in our home interviewing us on live TV! I just had to redecorate!
Robotnik: You redecorated my fortress?!

[The screen transitions to a vire inside Robotnik's courtyard. RoboDog is in a doghouse, with a chained leash on his collar, and he growls angrily. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, past a flowered arch, until it reaches two podiums.]

Collie: Once favored to win, Dr. Robotnik's popularity is now plunging,

[A view of Collie's news report is shown, with a picture of Robotnik spitting out a half-eaten sausage, of which he is holding the other half in his left hand, is shown in the upper-right corner of the screen.]

Collie: In every place where he's campaigned.

[As Collie continues speaking, a picture of Momma Robotnik whacking Robotnik on the head with the purse she is holding in her left hand is shown in the upper-right corner of the screen. Following this is a picture of the Pig Mayor staring angrily at Robotnik as he points at him with his right index finger and the collapsed suspension bridge with his left.]

Collie: But in a moment, we'll meet him and his lovely RoboWife.

[Inside Robotnik's fortress, Robotnik is dressed in a tuxedo and a top hat as he looks in the mirror and adjusts his tie with both his hands. The camera zooms in on the doorway as Sonic, who is dressed in a blonde wig, pearl necklace, red dress, and red high-heels, pushes the doors open with both his hands. He leans his right hand against the wall.]

Sonic: Oh, Dr. Robotnik,

[Robotnik stares in shock at Sonic, who walks up to him.]

Sonic: You men in power are so... powerful!

[Sonic runs his left hand through Robotnik's mustache.]

Sonic: Isn't there somewhere where we could... be alone?

[Robotnik looks around, then sweats and stammers nervously.]

Robotnik: Uh, certainly! But uh, [whispering:] My RoboWife mustn't see us together!

[Sonic walks through the doors, and signals Robotnik with his right index finger. Robotnik sweats as he nervously pulls on his tie with his right hand. He then gulps and walks towards the doors. RoboWife, who is carrying a tray of cookies in both her hands, walks through the doors. Robotnik stares at her in shock.]

RoboWife: Darling, we're on in a minute!

[Robotnik turns to face RoboWife.]

Robotnik: Oh yes, I'll be right there!

[Sonic is seen putting lipstick on his lips with his right hand. The camera zooms out on him as Robotnik pushes the door opens with both his hands.]

Robotnik [whispering]: I have a TV show to do. We'll have to meet later!

[Sonic turns to face Robotnik.]

Sonic: Oh, then let me fix your make-up!

[Sonic draws kisses on Robotnik's face with the lipstick he is holding in his right hand. He smiles, then turns around. He walks through the doors, and past RoboWife, is on the other side.]

Robotnik: Ah, come, my dear!

[RoboWife stares in shock at the kisses on Robotnik's face. Sonic pushes the doors open with his left hand, walks through them, then waves at Robotnik with the same hand.]

Sonic: Break a leg, Botsy!
RoboWife: Have you been kissing another woman?!

[Robotnik frowns nervously as RoboWife points at him with her right index finger.]

RoboWife: I'll make sure you break a leg, Botsy!
Collie: Is Robotnik's family life as happy as his ads say?

[Collie is revealed to be in Robotnik's courtyard.]

Collie: Let's ask him.

[Robotnik screams as RoboWife tosses him, causing him to land on his arch and break it.]

Robotnik: Ow!

[Robotnik runs up to Collie.]

Robotnik: Well, of course we're happy, Collie!

[As Robotnik talks to Collie, RoboWife is holding a figure of a man with blonde hair in a red plaid shirt and blue overalls in her left hand, which she tosses at Robotnik.]

Robotnik: My RoboWife is very close to me.

[Robotnik stares in shock and screams as he sees the figure flying towards him. He ducks his head into his tuxedo to dodge the figure. He then cups his right hand to his mouth to whisper to the camera.]

Robotnik [whispering]: Let's hope she doesn't get any closer!
Collie: Your opponent, Sonic, says you're ducking the issue.

[Robotnik ducks, dodging a vase RoboWife throws at him.]

Robotnik: I'm not ducking anything! I'll debate him anytime, anywhere!

[Sonic, who is standing behind a podium, runs up to Robotnik and Collie. Robotnik stares in shock as Sonic points his right index finger at him.]

Sonic: All right, now here's the deal; Let's debate right here, let the voters decide!
Robotnik: Well, we, uh, need time to work out the, uh... debate format.

[Robotnik holds up his left index finger.]

Robotnik: And uh...

[Sonic points his right index finger at Robotnik.]

Sonic: See? Now he's duckin' the debate!

[Robotnik holds up his right index finger.]

Robotnik: I never duck anything!

[Robotnik grunts as a bowl RoboWife throws at him hits him on the head. Stars spin around his head.]

Robotnik [wearily]: Okay with me!

[Robotnik falls over. RoboWife is holding a vase in her left hand, while Weasely struggles to hold her back with both his hands. She tosses the vase, then reaches out to try to attack Robotnik.]

RoboWife: I'll kill the balloon-bellied bum!
Collie: We'll begin our debate after this.

[Momma Robotnik, who is holding a bucket of water in both her hands, splashes the water from it on Robotnik. Scratch and Grounder, both of whom have unsaitisfied expressions on their faces, walk up to Robotnik, who is now on his knees as he begs for their help.]

Robotnik: I need you two to eliminate Sonic during the debate!
Scratch: Well, well! He didn't want us in his campaign! Our messages were too crude! But now he needs us!
Grounder: Yeah! Well, we might help, if you had some cabinet positions in mind for us!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic and Robotnik are both standing behind podiums. The camera zooms in as Robotnik talks.]

Robotnik: My opponent tries to tell you I am a scoundrel.

[As Robotnik continues talking, Scratch sneaks up on Sonic, carrying a hammer in both his hands.]

Robotnik: But if you vote for me, you'll get a kinder Robotnik!

[Sonic looks back at Scratch, then runs away. He comes back, carrying a watermelon in both his hands, which he sets down on the podium. Scratch grunts as he smashes the watermelon with the hammer. Robotnik growls as a piece of the watermelon hits him on the head. He wipes it off with a yellow hankerchief he is holding in his right hand.]

Robotnik: You'll get a gentler Robotnik.

[Grounder is holding a bow with a flaming arrow in both his hands, which he aims at Sonic. Sonic ducks, and the flaming arrow flies over him and hits Robotnik's podium. The flame from it sets Robotnik's mustache on fire. Robotnik picks up a mug of water with his left hand and pours it on his mustache, putting out the fire.]

Robotnik: A more dignified Robotnik.

[Robotnik gasps as he tosses the mug aside.]

Robotnik: I can't stand it anymore!

[Robotnik knocks his podium over with both his hands, and pulls out a laser, which he fires at Sonic. As Robotnik talks, Sonic dodges the lasers, which destroy his podium, Robotnik's pillar with a vase on it, and Robotnik's flower-like tree.]

Robotnik: I don't care what happens to me as long as I take you with me!

[Sonic runs away. He, now wearing his lady disguise, runs up to Robotnik and pulls on his mustache with his left hand.]

Sonic: Ooh, Botsy, that's so romantic!

[Sonic runs away, and RoboWife walks up to him.]

RoboWife: You lousy, two-timing... heel!

[RoboDog walks up to Robotnik's right heel and bites it. He growls as he tugs on it. RoboWife hits Robotnik's head with her right fist, and Robotnik fires the laser he is holding in his right hand. The laser hits the spotlights, causing them to fall. Robowife looks up at them and runs away, then RoboDog runs away in the opposite direction. The spotlights fall on Robotnik, and he growls as they emit a cloud of Smoke. Sonic emerges from the cloud of smoke, then points behind himself with his left thumb.]

Sonic: Now, that's just sad!

[Sonic points his left index finger at the camera.]

Sonic: Is that what you folks want? Your next president comin' out of some smoke-filled room?

[Sonic points at himself with his right thumb.]

Sonic: Or are you gonna vote for me?

[As the smoke continues to fill the screen, Weasely is in a telephone booth, talking into a receiver he is holding in his right hand.]

Weasely: Yeah, Wes Weasely here. Is that telephone sales job still open?

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where two truckloads worth of ballots are parked outside the Presidential suite. The camera moves over to Collie, who is standing next to Sonic.]

Collie: The ballots have been counted, and Sonic is the winner! The final tally is 90,000,000 to one!

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder, the former of whom is in a full-body cast (save for his right leg) all walk up to Sonic and Collie.]

Robotnik: After all I went through, I get one stinking vote?! Impossible! At the very least, Momma, Scratch, and Grounder all voted for me!

[Scratch chuckles nervously.]

Scratch: Actually, Dr. Robotnik, we got so busy...
Grounder: Yeah, and, this is kind of an important point! We... we kind of forgot to vote!
Robotnik: You forgot?!

[Momma Robotnik walks up to Robotnik.]

Momma Robotnik: Well, I didn't forget! I voted against you!
Robotnik: Momma! How could you?

[Momma Robotnik presses her left index finger against Robotnik's nose.]

Momma Robotnik: Easy; because you can't do anything right!

[Robotnik puts his right hand over his head.]

Robotnik: Betrayed by my own mother! Then again, that makes me feel better about betraying you!

[Robotnik runs up to the curtain and pulls it down with his right hand. Retirement home workers in white coats, all of whom are carrying nets in both their hands, yell unintelligibly as they run towards Momma Robotnik, who growls at them. They run into her, and an explosion appears onscreen, creating a cloud of smoke.]

Momma Robotnik: You ingrate! Wait till' I bust out next time! Hey, let me go! Take your hands off me, you great, fat slug! Let me go!

[Collie runs up to Sonic.]

Collie: What are your plans, Mr. President?
Sonic: Resignation!

[The camera zooms out on Sonic, revealing Henry Walrus, RoboWife, and RoboDog standing next to him. Sonic points his right hand at them.]

Sonic: My running mate, Henry Walrus is the guy for this job!
RoboWife: Collie, I just know Henry Walrus will be the best President that Mobius ever had!

[Weasely runs up to RoboWife and Henry Walrus, and holds up a card in his left hand.]

Weasely: Mr. President, let me say two words; Press Secretary! Think about it.

[Robotnik slaps his head with his right hand.]

Robotnik: That tears it! I always say if you can't join em', beat em'!

[Robotnik grabs the curtain with his right hand and pulls it down, revealing a giant drill tank behind it. He jumps into it, and drives it towards the Presidential Suite. Sonic points at him with his right index finger.]

Sonic: You know, Botsy, you really are a sore loser! Axin on "sore"!

[Sonic runs up to Robotnik's drill tank and runs around it many times. This causes the ballots to wobble and fall over. Robotnik stares in shock and screams as they fall on him, burying him underneath.]

Sonic: Well, it looks like it's a landslide against Robotnik!
Robotnik: I hate that hedgehog!

[The screen irises out, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says[]

[One evening in the forest, the camera moves over to Sonic and Tails, who are cooking hot dogs at a campfire. Sonic is roasting his hot dog with the stick he is holding in his left hand, and Tails does the same while chewing on a candy bar he is holding in his right hand.]

Sonic: The dogs are nearly done!
Tails: Ouch! Toothache!

[Tails stomps his feet while holding his right cheek with his right hand.]

Sonic: Have you been brushing lately, Tails? You could have a cavity!

[Sonic points at Tails with his right index finger. He runs away, then comes back, dressed in a dentist's outfit. He opens Tails' mouth with both his hands, and looks inside.]

Sonic: Ewww! Way past gross! [To the viewers] Be sure to brush and floss your teeth after every meal, and see your dentist regularly! Teeth are meant to last a lifetime,

[As Sonic continues talking to the viewers, Tails brushes his teeth with a toothbrush he is holding in his right hand.]

Sonic: But they won't unless you take care of em'!

[The screen fades to black.]

Transcripts

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