At G.U.N. H.Q., in Agent Shadow’s office, Agent Shadow was having a meeting about his next assignment.
“Fine” Shadow finally agreed
The man he was talking to turned out to be none other than Roger van der Weide.
“SWEET!” Roger shouted
“But” Shadow yelled “I’m NOT wearing a dress!”
After Roger left, Shadow said to himself “Why is it I haven’t got a single decent assignment since I agreed to join this stupid organization?”
The phone green, so Shadow pink-ed it up and said “Yellow, this is Mujibar…sorry, I’ve been around this one guy too much, this is Shadow…Erin Hanson? Sorry, I just signed a deal with Roger…maybe next time…alright…goom-bye…sorry, it’s that guy, again, good-bye” he hangs up (really dramatically, with sound effects and slow motion, even).
“That psychotic salamander is driving me crazy”
He grabs the picture frame from the desk that held a picture of Maria and the Professor (I know he got rid of it, but just hold on a sec), he removed the picture from the frame to reveal that it was just hiding another picture, one of Amy Rose*

“So, why you starting a pizza joint?” Sonic asked
Eggman’s face became sad and glum, “Robot parts are getting expensive. If you haven’t noticed, a jaktet power core has nearly tripled in price!”
Sonic became sarcastic “Oh yeah, it’s been driving me nuts”
Suddenly, an iridescent beam came over Sonic
“What now?”
He got sucked up into the tractor beam-thingy and disappeared

Sonic fell to the floor and found himself in a dark room with a single light shining on him. He looked around, but saw nothing but darkness outside the light…well, almost nothing, a pair (or I guess for his case, you couldn’t call it a “pair”) of glowing, red eyes.
A voice spoke from the general direction of the eyes, “Are you the one they call ‘Shadow’?”
Sonic, still confused about this, said “Ummm…No”
The eyes looked embarrassed all of a sudden “Oh, sorry”
Sonic was sucked up into the light and disappeared.
Moments later, Namesiw suddenly took his place, looking very surprised, and carrying a triple-scoop ice-cream cone. The top scoop fell off. He looked around, “Wow, first the stereotypical alien abduction beam, now a stereotypical interrogation room” He looked up and saw the eyes (note: if you are reading this story aloud, you must say “the eyes” in a spooky voice)
“Are you the one they call ‘Shadow’?”
Namesiw quickly assessed the situation and replied “Last time I checked, no”
Namesiw was sucked into the light and as he disappeared, another scoop of his ice-cream fell off

A rather small, cottage-like yellow house sat by the docks. It had a sign that read “Chaotix Detective Agency”
Inside, Vector was at his desk, jammin’ to music, and Espio was sitting in his corner meditating, when, using his awesome ninja chameleon detective skillz, sensed something, and gave a report
“The ‘X’ fell down, again”

Shadow sat at his desk, daydreaming (about Amy of course*) He looked up at the clock and realized that he’s pretty much done for the day. He hides his picture again, and walks to the door, when it suddenly swings open and slams him in da face. It was Andy. Andy saw what he just did and instinctively said “I didn’t do it”
Shadow sat up, rubbing his head, sighed, and said “What is it?”
“You’re not going to believe this, Namesiw was kidnapped!”
Shadow was shocked “I do find that hard to believe”
“They gave him back, though” Andy added
Shadow smiled “That I can believe. What’d he do, start eating all their food?”
“We don’t know, but he says he needs to talk to you”
“Alright let’s go”

Namesiw was sitting at his desk, secretly looking at a picture of Kathleen, when Shadow and Andy showed up. Namesiw quickly (and, of course, very cartoon-like) hid his picture
“Well, that didn’t take you guys very long”
Andy gave him an odd look and said “Have you forgot how fast we are” (haha, he doesn’t have good grammar)
“Whatever, Shadow, I’m sure Andy has filled you in”
“Sort of, what’s going on?”
“Well, after I had gotten my ice-cream, this iridescent light came over me and sucked me up, next thing I know, I’m in this dark room, and this shadowy figure, well it wasn’t really a figure, ‘cuz all I could see were the eyes, anywho, he says he’s lookin’ for you”

*Before I hear any crap about making ShadAmy references when I am such a huge SonAmy supporter, I only put them in there as fanservice for a friend.