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Zoobotnik
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This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Zoobotnik".

[The episode begins in the forest. Sonic runs past the trees, stripping them of their leaves and revealing underwear underneath. Sonic screeches to a halt as Tails, who is flying behind him, lands behind him. Sonic turns to face him.]

Sonic: Remind me, little buddy, to get my power sneakers retreaded!
News Hawk: Read all about it! Read all about it!

[Sonic and Tails both turn to face the News Hawk and gasp. The News Hawk is holding a stack of newspapers in his left arm, and a single newspaper in his right hand.]

News Hawk: Mysterious disappearances continue! Kajillions of Mobius citizens missing!
Tails: Gosh! That sounds awful!

[Sonic turns to face Tails and holds his left hand out like a stop sign.]

Sonic: Don't believe everything you hear, little pal! News Hawks will say anything to sell papers!

[The sound of the News Hawk being yanked away can be heard.]

News Hawk: Yeow!
Sonic: Wha?

[The camera zooms out as Sonic turns to face the stack of newspapers that have fallen on the ground and gasps.]

Tails: Where'd he go?

[The News Cat, who is holding a stack of newspapers in his left arm and a single newspaper in his right, runs past Sonic and Tails.]

News Cat: Extra! Extra! News Hawk disappears!
Sonic: Hey, this may be more serious than I thought!

[The Hippo Mayor and Mildred run up to Sonic.]

Hippo Mayor: Look, it's Sonic!

[Two Mobians, one in a blue suit, and one in a brown, run up to Sonic.]

Mobian #1: The Mayor Found Sonic!
Mobian #2: Sonic will help us!
Sonic: Let's get down to business! Has anyone actually witnessed a disappearance?
Mildred: Me! Me! I did! I did! I was at a baseball game with my friend, Lisa, and all of a sudden both teams disappeared!

[As Mildred continues talking, Sonic puts his left hand on his head in disbelief.]

Mildred: As it turns out, it was only because the game was over. However, the next thing I knew, Lisa vanished! As it turned out, she'd merely gone to the bathroom, however...

[Sonic crosses his arms, but before Mildred can finish, the Hippo Mayor puts both his hands on her shoulders and pushes her away.]

Hippo Mayor: Chill, Mildred! The point is, there's a mad Mobian snatcher on the loose!

[Sonic looks over the rest of the Mobians, one of whom is George, the male stork from "Tails' New Home".]

Sonic: First things first! I need reliable eyewitnesses to give me a complete description of the suspect!

[All the Mobians gasp as Sonic runs away. Sonic comes back, carrying an easel in both his hands, which he sets down. He is also holding a pencil in his right hand, and holds up his left index finger.]

Sonic: Okay, exactly what did the culprit look like?
Mobian #3: He was tall!
Mobian #2: She was short!
Mobian #4: No, it was really big!

[The camera moves to the right side of the screen as George holds out his left hand like a stop sign.]

Mildred: No, it was tense!
George: No, it was a... it was a man!
Mobian #5: I think it was a woman!

[Sonic finishes his sketch of the alleged culprit, which is revealed to be half a pink man and half a blonde woman in a red loincloth.]

Tails: What?
Sonic: Voila! So much for reliable eyewitnesses!

[Tails walks up to the sketch.]

Tails: For sure!

[The sound of yanking can be heard. Tails looks over and gasps. Mildred's bowling shoes, a sock, a pair of gloves, a purse, and the Hippo Mayor's boxer shorts can be seen left behind.]

Tails: Where'd everybody go?
Sonic: Here's Mildred's bowling shoes, someone's socks, a pair of gloves, a purse and the Mayor's underpants?

[The camera moves over to the left side of the screen, until it reaches Sonic, who grabs the Hippo Mayor's boxer shorts with both his hands.]

Sonic: Tails, this is a real baffler!

[Tails walks up to Sonic and points his left index finger at the Hippo Mayor's boxer shorts.]

Tails: Yeah! Why would anybody wear shorts like that? This mystery has me stumped!

[Sonic holds up his left index finger.]

Sonic: Never say stumped! The tougher things get, the more I like it!

[The sound of Tails being yanked away can be heard.]

Tails: Yeow!

[Sonic turns around and stares in shock.]

Sonic: Huh? Tails? Where'd you go?

[Sonic walks up to Tails' right glove. He drops the Hippo Mayor's boxer shorts and picks the glove up with his right hand.]

Sonic: Oh, no! My little buddy's been foxnapped!

[Sonic throws Tails' glove onto the ground as the camera zooms in on him.]

Sonic: I was mad before, but now I'm furious! I won't rest until I find my pal, and bring whoever took him to justice!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Duck Dog is seen walking through the forest, carrying a picnic basket in his left arm. He stops when he hears the sound of a warp.]

Duck Dog: Huh?

[Duck Dog starts running.]

Duck Dog: Something wacky's going on around here!

[Duck Dog speeds up.]

Duck Dog: Help me! Somebody help me! Oh, no! Something bad's gonna happen, I can feel it in my bones!

[Duck Dog trips over a rope tied to two trees, and lands in a net.]

Duck Dog: Whoa! Ugh!

[Katella the Intergalactic Huntress picks up the needle of a record player with her right hand and puts it on the record, which plays classical music.]

Katella: So, let's see what we have here!

[Katella chuckies evilly as she walks up to the net Duck Dog is in. She is now holding a knife in her right hand, and Duck Dog wimpers.]

Duck Dog: Let me go! Please let me go!

[Katella cuts the rope with the knife in her right hand, and the net with Duck Dog in it falls.]

Duck Dog: Yikes! Ugh!

[Tails and the rest of the citizens of Mobius are revealed to be trapped in a cage.]

Tails: Don't worry, guys! Sonic'll get us out of here! You can take that to the bank!

[Katella walks up to the cage, holding the net with Duck Dog in it in her right hand, and the remote control to the cage in her left.]

Katella: Stand back, suckers! You've got a new roommate!

[Katella presses a button on the remote with her left thumb, and the door to the cage opens. Katella then tosses the net with Duck Dog in it into the cage.]

Duck Dog: Whoa! Oh, this is a bad dream!

[Katella is now holding the remote in her right hand.]

Katella: Say goodbye to freedom, and hello to a lifetime of captivity!

[Katella laughs evilly as she presses a button on the remote with her right thumb. She and the cage fly into the air.]

Mobian #1: Let us out!
Mobian #2: This is illegal!
Mobian #3: Enough!
Mobian #4: Come on, you can't do that!
Mobian #5: You don't know what it's like!

[Katella and the cage with all the Mobians in it fly through the trap door of Katella's spaceship. Coconuts peers out from behind a boulder, revealing him to have been watching the whole incident.]

Coconuts: Ho ho! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Ho ho! Did I see what I saw or did I saw what I seed? Yowie, yowie, hoo hoo hoo!

[Coconuts jumps out from behind the boulder.]

Coconuts: Oh, I gotta tell Dr. Robotnik! Ha ha ha ha ha! He'll know what to do! Gotta go quick, ha, quick!

[Coconuts runs away. The screen transitions to a view outside Robotnik's fortress, which the camera zooms in on. Robotnik is in the bathtub, holding his rubber crocodile in his right hand.]

Coconuts: Ahem!

[Robotnik stares in shock and screams. The camera zooms out on him.]

Dr. Robotnik: You lame-brained knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me when I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!
Coconuts: Oh, but I only wanted to tell you I saw one of those F.O.U's, I mean, C.I.A.'s, or C.O.D.'s, ha ha! I mean...

[Coconuts flinches as Robotnik tosses his rubber crocodile at him.]

Coconuts: Whoa!
Robotnik: Get to the point, or your name will be M-U-D!
Coconuts: I got it! I got it! I saw a U.F.O.!
Robotnik: A U.F.O.? Next you'll be saying you saw a little green man!
Coconuts: No, no, no, no, no! It was a mean-lookin' woman! She wore animal skins and a headband with a flaming red diamond!
Robotnik: A flaming red diamond headband? That could only be the notorious Katella the Intergalactic Huntress!

[Robotnik stands up.]

Robotnik: Idiots! My robe!

[Scratch and Grounder run in, carrying Robotnik's robe.]

Scratch: Here it is, your overbearingness! Bwahahaha!

[Scratch and Grounder stop near Robotnik.]

Grounder: I personally washed and fluffed it this morning!

[As Scratch puts Robotnik's robe on Robotnik's body, Grounder pulls his chest compartment open with his right hand, revealing a washing machine inside it.]

Grounder: Whoo-hoo! That spin cycle always makes me dizzy!

[As Scratch talks, Robotnik walks past him.]

Scratch: Wear it with great comfort, our great leader!

[Scratch turns to face Robotnik.]

Scratch: Huh?

[Robotnik is at his computer, and presses a button with his left index finger.]

Robotnik: For years, I've waited for the day when I would meet this amazing Amazon!

[As Robotnik talks to Scratch and Grounder, he presses the button on his computer with his left index finger several times, causing strange alien creatures to appear onscreen. Scratch and Grounder walk up to Robotnik]

Robotnik: Katella goes from planet to planet, and captures rare, exotic, and unusual living specimens, which she sells to zoos in other galaxies!

[Robotnik turns to face Scratch and Grounder and bends down.]

Robotnik: This is indeed a most fortunate turn of events, and I know exactly how to cash in on it! The hedgehog is doomed!

[Robotnik laughs evilly, as do Scratch and Grounder. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Collie Chang is being filmed by the W-FU cameras.]

Collie Chang: This is Collie Chang of Mobius Network News. Sonic the Hedgehog has called an important press conference!

[Sonic runs past Collie, causing the microphone she was holding in her right hand to fall into her mouth. Collie pulls it out with both her hands. Sonic is near many microphones and being photographed.]

Sonic: I've called you here today to assure all of Mobius that I will get to the bottom of these horrible kidnappings!
Collie: Have you compiled a list of the missing citizens yet?

[Sonic reaches behind his back with his left hand and pulls out a list of the missing citizens.]

Sonic: Yes! I'll read it to you in alphabetical order!

[Sonic unrolls the list with his right hand and reads over it.]

Sonic: Abigail Ant, Aaron Aardvark, Buddy Bear, Bubble Bear, Connie Collie, Duck Dog, Daffy Duck...

[As Sonic continues reading through the list, his voice becomes faster and more indistinguishable. Smoke emits from it, and he takes a pause and reaches offscreen with his left hand. He picks up a glass of water, which he pours into his mouth to extinguish the smoke. He then tosses the glass aside.]

Sonic: And last, but not least, on a personal note, my good buddy Tails is among the missing!

[Cat and Cricket reporters are seen holding pads of paper in their left hands, and pencils in their right. They list down the missing citizens in them.]

Sonic: I'm certain when I find Tails, I'll find the other missing citizens!

[Sonic jumps offstage.]

Sonic: So I gotta get on Tails' tail before his trail gets cold!

[Sonic runs away, and as he runs along the path, he leaves a trail of fire.]

Sonic: Until I find my buddy, I'll leave no stone unturned!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic runs past a cactus, causing it to spin, and reaches a YE OLDE PRINT SHOP.]

Sonic: I'm in luck! A print shop!

[Sonic runs into the print shop, and comes out, carrying a stack of flyers that say, MISSING and have a picture of Tails' head on them.]

Sonic: I'll put up these flyers! Maybe someone will recognize Tails!

[Sonic pulls out a single flyer with his right hand, which the camera zooms in on. In the next scene, which takes place on a farm, the camera moves to the right side of the screen, where a fat farmer is plowing the fields with a hoe he is holding in both his hands. The cow near him is grazing. Sonic spins past them, putting flyers on their backs, and on a tree. The cow looks at the flyer on her back and moos. Sonic is looking over at the flyer on the fat farmer's back.]

Sonic: Hang in there, Tails, old buddy! I'll find you if I have to search every inch of this planet!

[Sonic runs away, causing the flyer on the fat farmer's back to roll away. Sonic runs to the top of Mt. Mobius, leaving a trail of fire behind him.]

Sonic: I'll start with the Wise Old Hermit on Mt. Mobius! He's supposed to know everything!

[Sonic stops when he reaches the top of Mt. Mobius, where the Wise Old Hermit is doing yoga.]

Sonic: Excuse me, do you know where I can find this two-tailed fox?

[Sonic pulls out a flyer with his left hand, and the Wise Old Hermit stares in shock at it and screams.]

Wise Old Hermit: There is no such thing as a two-tailed fox!
Sonic: Okay, so you don't know everything!

[Sonic runs away, knocking the Wise Old Hermit over. The Wise Old Hermit screams as he falls. Sonic then spins through the ice territory, and stops when he comes to an Eskimo. He holds up a flyer with his left hand.]

Sonic: We're offering a big reward! 500 fish heads and a barrel of blubber!

[The eskimo grunts excitedly, then when Sonic shows him the flyer, he shrugs his shoulders and nods his head, "No". Sonic then runs past the igloo, causing it to fly into pieces.]

Eskimo: Hey!

[The pieces of the igloo assemble themselves into a castle turret, which the Eskimo stares at in surprise.]

Eskimo: Huh?

[Sonic spins from the ice territory into the jungle. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic is in the jungle, swinging from a vine he is holding onto with both his hands, he lets go, flips, and grabs another vine with his teeth. He swings from it, then spins down. He slips on a pile of banana peels, and does a Tarzan yell. He then slips into a large pile of banana peels, which are near a Jungle Man, who is holding a single banana in his right hand, and a bunch of them in his left arm. The Jungle Man burps, and Sonic pokes himself out of the pile of bananas. He picks up a single banana peel on his head with his right hand and tosses it aside.]

Sonic: Pardone Moi, have you seen this fella?

[Sonic pulls out a flyer with his left hand, and the Jungle Man points his right index finger up at the sky. Katella's ship flies over them, and Tails can be seen in one of the windows.]

Tails: Help me, Sonic! Get me out of here! I'm scared!
Sonic: I'm comin', little pal!

[Sonic runs out of the pile of banana peels, and chases after Katella's ship. He comes to a palm leaf, which he puts his left hand on.]

Sonic: Nothing's gonna stand in my way!

[Sonic spins up to a mountain. He spins through it to the other side, and chases after Katella's ship, leaving a trail of fire behind him. He stares in shock, screams, then screeches to a halt just in time to avoid falling off a cliff. He grunts as he hits a rock with his feet, causing it to fall of the cliff. Katella's ship flies away from him.]

Sonic: Oh, he's gone!

[The screen fades to black. In the next scene, a view outside Robotnik's fortress is shown.]

Robotnik: Katella the Intergalactic Huntress,

[As Robotnik talks to Scratch and Grounder, the screen transitions to a view inside Robotnik's fortress, where Scratch is holding a mop in his left arm, and Grounder is holding a broom in his left arm.]

Robotnik: Has delayed her return home to accept my dinner invitation. I want this place spic and span, clean as a whistle! This dinner is important! I want to impress Katella so I can use her special talents for my own disgusting and loathesome scheme!

[Scratch salutes Robotnik with his right hand, and Grounder salutes him with his right drill.]

Scratch: You got it, your deceptiveness!
Scratch and Grounder: Aye-aye, sir!

[Scratch and Grounder turn and walk away, hitting Robotnik with their mop and broom. Robotnik falls over.]

Robotnik: D'oh!

[Scratch and Grounder walk up to the front door. Robotnik gets up, revealing he has a wig on his head.]

Robotnik: Oh! Oh! I'd better lie down! I think I have slight concussion!

[Robotnik walks away, and the camera zooms in on Scratch and Grounder.]

Scratch: Okay! Uh, we've got a lot of work to do!

[Grounder nods his head, "Yes".]

Scratch: I'll-I'll dust the doorknob,

[Scratch reaches to the top of the screen and pulls out a large pile of cleaning products with both his hands. Grounder stares at him in shock. As Scratch talks, Grounder nods his head, "Yes".]

Scratch: You mop and wax the floor, polish the furniture, beat the rugs, do the vacuuming, scrub the walls, dry-clean the drapes, feed the fish,

[Scratch drops the pile of cleaning products on Grounder.]

Grounder: Ow!

[Grounder pokes his head out of the pile of cleaning products.]

Grounder: Hold it, Buster! I'm not as stupid as everyone says I am! I'm not gonna do all that!
Scratch: Okay, forget the fish!

[Scratch grunts as he kicks the pile of cleaning products, and Grounder grunts as he, along with most of the cleaning products are knocked away. Only a single rag remains, and Scratch picks it up with his right hand. He uses it to polish the doorknob. The screen transitions to a view of Coconuts in the head of the giant golden Robotnik statue. He looks unhappy, until he hears the sound of Katella's ship humming. He cups his left hand up to his left ear.]

Coconuts: Huh? Wh-wh-wh-what's that racket?

[Coconuts ducks into the statue, the pokes his head back out, revealing him to be holding binoculars in both his hands, which he looks through. A view through the binoculars is shown as Katella's ship hovers over Robotnik's fortress.]

Coconuts: Hey! Looks like K-k-k-k-k-Katella's ship!

[Katella's ship carries Coconuts away. Coconuts looks down and stares in shock.]

Coconuts: Yike! Yeow-how-how!

[Coconuts falls, and Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder watch from inside Robotnik's fortress.]

Robotnik: The mighty huntress is here at last! Go down and open the door!

[Robotnik runs up to Scratch.]

Robotnik: Think you can manage that without falling on your faces?
Scratch: No problem!
Grounder: Can do!

[Scratch and Grounder turn away, but they don't get too far before they fall over.]

Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

[The screen transitions to a view outside the front door. The shadow of Katella, who is holding her record player in her right arm, looms over the front door. The camera moves over to the left side of the screen, where Katella is. Katella picks up the needle with her left hand, shutting the record player off, and sets the record player down. She then grabs the rope to the bell with her right hand and pulls it. The bell sprouts a face as it rings.]

Bell: Bong!

[Scratch and Grounder walk to the the front door, and Katella pulls the rope again, causing the bell to break and fall on Scratch and Grounder.]

Scratch: Whoa-ho!

[Grounder screams as the bell falls on him and Scratch, creating a cloud of green dust. The camera zooms in on the bell as the dust clears. The bell breaks, and Scratch and Grounder are seen squished together. Katella breaks down the door and walks in.]

Katella: I am Katella, the one and only! This better not be a waste of my time!

[Scratch runs up to Katella and bows before her.]

Scratch: Such a pleasure! Uh, I'm honored to greet you!

[Grounder runs under Scraatch and bows before Katella.]

Grounder: I'm more honored than he is!
Scratch: Says you, jerkface!
Grounder: Oh, yeah?

[Katella winks her left eye at the camera and scowls.]

Katella: Nincombots! I'll find my own way!

[Katella walks across Scratch and Grounder, who have somehow turned themselves into a WELCOME mat.]

Scratch: Please, oh-ho! Go right in!

[Katella wipes her feet on Scratch and Grounder.]

Grounder: Oh! Dr. Robotnik's expecting you!

[Coconuts is holding a horn with a red parchment with yellow letter R on it in his left hand. Katella walks up to him.]

Coconuts: Announcing the arrival of K-k-k-Katella the Huntress!

[Coconuts plays a fanfare on the horn, then stops suddenly. Coconuts grins in embarrassment at Katella, who pulls his tail with her right hand.]

Coconuts: Yike!

[Coconuts grunts as Katella stuffs him into the horn. He grunts again as he struggles to get out. He pulls his rear end out of the rear end of the horn, then for some unexplained reason, his rear end also comes out of the front end of the horn. Both rear ends walk away. Katella walks up to Robotnik, who is sitting on his throne. She steps back and groans when she sees him.]

Robotnik: Welcome to my humble but, uh, very expensive, magnificent, and opulent abode!

[Robotnik steps off his throne and twists the right half of his mustache with his right hand. Katella turns into a heart and sighs lovingly. She floats up to Robotnik.]

Katella: At last, I found my true love!
Robotnik: Where? I don't see anyone.
Katella: I'm talking about you!

[Katella grabs Robotnik's mustache with both her hands and pulls him away. Robotnik groans as she slams him against her several times over a heart background.]

Katella: You, you gorgeous, macho hunk of meanness! In all my travels, I've never found anyone as vile and despicable as you!

[Katella jumps onto Robotnik's stomach, then pulls his mustache with her right hand. She then hugs him, and red hearts emit from her.]

Katella: You are my soulmate!
Robotnik: Me?
Katella: Come here, my little eggy-weggy peachy-poo!

[Robotnik groans as Katella hugs him.]

Katella: Come on, let's wrestle!

[Red hearts emit from Katella as Robotnik's face expands.]

Robotnik (strained): This isn't my sport! How bout' some tiddlywinks?

[Robotnik pulls his head out of Katella's arms, and backs away nervously. He ends up backing into Katella.]

Robotnik: Ow!

[Katella climbs onto Robotnik's shoulders, and red hearts emit from her. Robotnik grunts as she rides on his back.]

Katella: I need you! I love you!
Robotnik (strained): I'm sure glad you don't hate me!

[Katella wraps her legs around Robotnik's head.]

Katella: Isn't this fun, poopsie?
Robotnik (strained): Don't get me wrong, but I don't think I'm your type!
Katella: I think you should know, I don't take rejection easily, puddin' cake!

[Upon hearing this, Robotnik's head turns into a thermometer, which rises, and pink hears emit from it. Robotnik groans as Katella grabs him by his feet with both her hands and spins him around clockwise.]

Robotnik: Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!

[Katella tosses Robotnik into the air.]

Robotnik: D'oh!

[Robotnik slams into the wall in a pose. Katella jumps up to him.]

Katella: What can I do to prove my love to my cutesy-wutesy!
Robotnik: There is one way! You can capture a pesky little hedgehog named Sonic!
Katella: That sounds so easy! Is that all? It's as good as done! After all, I'm the most clever huntress in the galaxy, you handsome thing!

[Katella grabs Robotnik and pulls him towards her.]

Robotnik: Ow!

[Robotnik screams as red hearts emit from Katella. They fill up the screen, and a heart-shaped iris expands from the screen, transitioning to the next scene, where Sonic runs along the path, still looking for Tails. He screeches to a halt when he hears what sounds like him, creating a crater.]

Tails Doll: Sonic! Save me!

[Sonic pokes his head out of the crater.]

Tails Doll: Over here!

[A doll that resembles Tails, much like the one from "Grounder the Genius", can be seen tied to a tree stump.]

Tails Doll: I knew you'd come and rescue me!

[Sonic runs up to the tree stump the Tails Doll is tied to. As it talks to him, the camera moves to the left side of the screen, where Katella and Robotnik are. The former is revealed to be operating the Tails Doll.]

Tails Doll: I was caught by a savage, but gorgeous huntress!
Katella (whispering): I used to be a ventriloquist in a circus! Watch this!

[Katella reaches offscreen with her right hand and pulls out a glass of water, which she drinks from.]

Tails Doll (gargling): Help!

[Water emits from the Tails Doll.]

Tails Doll: Before she gets back!

[Sonic turns to face the camera.]

Sonic (to the viewers): That's not really Tails! I don't smell chili dogs on his breath, and he would never talk with a mouth full of water, but I'll just go along and let myself be caught in this trap!

[Sonic nods his head, "no" rapidly.]

Tails Doll: Hurry! Untie me!

[Sonic looks over at the winch leading up to the cage at the top of the tree. He then turns to face the camera again.]

Sonic (to the viewers): I gotta play along if I want to find my real buddy!

[Sonic becomes muscular and dons a black vest. He unties the rope from the Tails Doll with both his hands, and the cage falls on him.]

Sonic: Help! Help! I am caught!

[Sonic pretends to faint.]

Sonic: Oh me, oh my!

[Robotnik and Katella run up to the cage.]

Robotnik: Well done, Katella! I'm truly impressed!

[Katella hugs Robotnik.]

Katella: I have only just begun to impress you, lover boy!

[Katella scratches Robotnik's head with her left index finger.]

Robotnik: I was afraid of that!

[The camera moves over to the left side of the screen, where Katella's ship is.]

Katella: Sai baba!

[Katella walks onto the ramp to her ship. Scratch and Grounder follow behind her, carrying the cage Sonic is trapped in, and Robotnik is sitting atop.]

Robotnik: Well, Sonic! How do you like the agony of defeat?

[Robotnik laughs evilly.]

Sonic: Woe is me, all is lost!

[The screen transitions to a view of a record that says, MUSIC TO GLOAT BY. A record player is playing conga music, and the camera moves to the right side of the screen, where Robotnik, who is dressed in mexican attire and holding maracas, is in a conga line with Katella, who is dressed like Carmen Miranda.]

Katella: Well, eggy-peachy-sweetie-poo, I kept my end of the bargain, now I want something from you!
Robotnik: Anything! Name it! Five dollars? Twelve dollars and fifty cents?

[Katella hugs Robotnik.]

Katella: I don't want your money! I want your hand...

[Katella squeezes Robotnik's left hand with her right, and red hearts emit from it.]

Robotnik: D'oh!
Katella: ...in marriage! And I won't take "No" for an answer!
Robotnik: D'oh!

[Inside the cage, Sonic is reading a ZUT! comic book.]

Robotnik: D'oh! Anything you say! Yes, yes!

[Sonic grins deviously, and his ears shape into devil horns. A question mark is used as a transition to the next scene, which takes place in Katella's dungeon, where the Hippo Mayor, Duck Dog, Mildred, the News Hawk, and Tails are all being held prisoner. Tails is holding a mug of water in his right hand and a piece of bread in his left, the latter of which he eats miserably. Tails stares as the doors open and Sonic slides down a chute.]

Sonic: Whoa!

[Sonic grunts as he tumbles across the dungeon, past Duck Dog, Mildred, and the Hippo Mayor. Tails runs up to him.]

Tails: Sonic! I knew you'd find me!

[The camera moves up to the Hippo Mayor.]

Hippo Mayor: Hey, you're just in time for dinner! Instead of bread and water, for a change, we're having... water and bread.

[Sonic stands up.]

Sonic: I'm only hungry for a chili dog, but I'll get you guys out of here, pronto! Stand back!

[Sonic spins, and digs a hole in the floor of the dungeon, creating a huge cloud of dust.]

Hippo Mayor: Yeah!
Mildred: Yeah!

[The dust clears, revealing the hole.]

Hippo Mayor: Hey, thanks, Sonic!

[Sonic signals the captured Mobians with his right hand. Sonic runs away, and Duck Dog runs up to the hole and points his right index finger at it. Mildred runs up to the hole and jumps inside. Duck Dog jumps into the hole, as does the Hippo Mayor, who gets stuck. The News Cat, who is holding a newspaper in his right hand, jumps atop him.]

News Cat: Extra! Sonic rescues kajillions! Read all about it!

[The News Cat jumps atop the Hippo Mayor, who claps his feet together. The News Cat manages to push the Hippo Mayor through the hole, and Duck Dog pokes his head out of the hole.]

Duck Dog: Aren't you coming, Mr. Sonic?

[Sonic holds his right hand out like a stop sign.]

Sonic: Don't worry about me, I've got a little tutoring to do.

[Tails walks up to Sonic, who puts his left hand on his right shoulder.]

Sonic: I'm gonna teach Robotnik a lesson he'll never forget!

[The screen transitions to a view inside Katella's throne room.]

Katella: Look, Eggy-Weggy, this is all mine!!

[Katella, who has Robotnik in a headlock, pulls him into her throne room.]

Katella: And soon, we'll be married, and you'll be all mine, too!
Robotnik: B-b-b-but, but we hardly know each other!
Katella: Well, you are madly and passionately in love with me, aren't you?
Robotnik: But of course! Insanely in love!

[Katella tosses Robotnik aside, and Robotnik screams. Katella jumps onto his stomach, and red hearts emit from her.]

Katella: Good! We'll get married immediately! Right now!

[Katella hugs Robotnik's head.]

Robotnik: But-but-but, but, but-but-but we don't have our, um, uh, justice of the peace!

[Sonic, who is disguised as a justice of the peace, runs in.]

Sonic: Greetings, I'm your friendly justice of the peace from Insta-wed!

[Sonic reaches behind his back with his right hand and pulls out a book of vows. Katella winks her right eye at Sonic.]

Katella: What a koinky-dink!

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, carrying Tails, who is disguised as a piano player, as well as the piano itself, in his arms. Tails plays Here Comes the Bride on the piano, then Sonic, who is carrying a flower pot in both his arms, sets it down. He runs away, then comes back, carrying a table of presents in both his arms. He then rolls out a red carpet towards the paino Tails is playing.]

Sonic: At Insta-wed, we provide everything for a happy, sappy, daffy wedding!

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, carrying Grounder, who is dressed like a maid of honor, in his arms, and Scratch, who is dressed like a best man, in his arms. Scratch even has a tag on him that says, BEST MAN & MAID OF HONOR. He and Grounder look at each other. Sonic then runs around Katella and Robotnik, dressing them like a bride and groom, respectively.]

Sonic: What a lovely couple!

[Sonic reaches offscreen with both his arms, and pulls out a camera, which he uses to take pictures of Robotnik and Katella, the former of whom is blinded by the camera's flash. Robotnik shakes his head, then looks over at Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: Don't just stand there, bone-heads. Do something!

[Scratch pulls out a hankerchief with his right hand, and he and Grounder cry. They look at each other.]

Scratch: I always cry at weddings!
Grounder: Me too!

[Grounder continues crying, then stops.]

Grounder: Hey, Scratch. What's a wedding?

[As Sonic reads through the book of vows, his shadow yawns and waves its right hand in front of its mouth.]

Sonic: Do you, Katella, take this big yolk, to be your awful wedded husband?

[Katella has Robotnik in a headlock by her legs, and as Robotnik growls and tries to escape, red hearts emit from her.]

Katella: You got it!
Sonic: And do you, Dr. Ivo Robotnik, take...

[Katella now has Robotnik's body in her legs, and as he growls and tries to escape, red hearts emit from her.]

Katella: He does!

[As Sonic talks, his shadow waves both its hands near its head and blows a raspberry.]

Sonic: Then, if there is nobody here who objects to this union, I now pronounce you...

[Before Sonic can finish, he drops his book of vows and turns to face Momma Robotnik.]

Momma Robotnik: You bet I object!

[Momma Robotnik, who is holding her umbrella in her right hand, pushes the doors open.]

Grounder: Oh, it's Momma Robotnik!
Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho!

[Scratch jumps into Grounder's arms, and Tails runs up to Sonic.]

Tails: You called her?
Sonic: Seemed like a good idea!

[Momma Robotnik walks angrily up to Robotnik.]

Momma Robotnik: How come you didn't invite me to your wedding, you slime-bucket?

[Katella hugs Robotnik.]

Katella: Don't you call my cuddly-wuddly a slime-bucket!

[Robotnik and Katella flinch as Momma Robotnik yells at them.]

Momma Robotnik: I was talking to you, cheese-head!

[Sonic puts his left hand on Tails' left shoulder. Tails is now at the piano again.]

Sonic: This is turning out better than I thought!

[Sonic and Tails chuckle deviously. Momma Robotnik swipes her umbrella at Katella, who flinches.]

Momma Robotnik: Kia!

[Katella grabs Momma Robotnik's mustache with both her hands and pulls it. Robotnik watches in horror as Katella and Momma Robotnik battle each other and growl. Katella is now holding the right side of Momma Robotnik's mustache with her left hand, and punches her in the stomach with her right. She does so again, and Momma Robotnik flattens her with her butt. Katella is now shaped like a heart, and Momma Robotnik growls as she charges backwards at her. She hits Katella with her butt and creates a hole in her wall. Fireworks emit from the hole, and Sonic, Tails, Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder all watch as Katella's ship rumbles and falls apart from the inside, creating a cloud of dust. When the dust clears, Robotnik walks up to the hole.]

Robotnik: D'oh!

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder all walk up to the hole, and Momma Robotnik growls as she is launched out of it and lands on them. Robotnik pokes his head out of the rubble, and Momma Robotnik turns to face him. Sweat emits from Robotnik's head.]

Momma Robotnik: If you marry her, I promise I'll make you regret it!
Katella: Don't sweat it! The marriage is off!
Robotnik: Phew!

[Katella walks up to a lever.]

Katella: The last thing I need is that battle-axe for a mother-in-law!

[Katella pulls the lever with her right hand. A trap door opens beneath the pile of rubble Robotnik, Scratch, Grounder, and Momma Robotnik are in. They all scream as they fall through the trap door and out of Katella's ship, and land near a boulder. Tails, who is carrying Sonic by his tail with his teeth, flies down to them.]

Sonic: Good going, Tails!

[Tails flies away, with Sonic in tow. Robotnik, who is now wearing Momma Robotnik's hat, pokes his head out of the rubble, then Momma Robotnik pokes her head and arms out of the rubble. She grabs her hat with both her hands and puts it back on her head.]

Robotnik: Momma! What are you doing here?
Momma Robotnik: Somebody called me and told me you were about to ruin your life!

[Tails flies Sonic down to Robotnik and Momma Robotnik. Sonic winks his right eye at Robotnik, and Tails flies away, with him in tow.]

Robotnik: It wasn't my fault, Momma! She was forcing me to marry her! It's the truth!
Momma Robotnik: The truth?! Ugh! What kind of villain are you?! I raised you to always lie!
Robotnik: Uh, but-but-but-but-but...

[Momma Robotnik climbs out of the rubble. She now has Robotnik in her right arm and she spanks him with her umbrella, which she is holding in her left hand.]

Robotnik: Yeow! I'm sorry! I'll never tell the truth again! Ow! Ow! I hate that hedgehog!

[The screen transitions to a view of Katella's ship, which is now flying through the galaxy.]

Katella: I've had enough of Mobius! I'll go to a planet that really appreciates me!

[Katella comes across a handsome-looking planet with a face. The planet stares at her ship in shock and flies away. Sonic and Tails watch from Mobius.]

Sonic: You know, buddy, I'm gonna miss Katella!

[Tails shrugs his shoulders in confusion.]

Tails: Why would you miss her?

[The camera moves over to Sonic.]

Sonic: Because she made Robotnik so miserable!
Tails: I bet you can make him even more miserable tomorrow!

[Sonic stands up and points his right index finger at Tails.]

Sonic: Stay tuned, little buddy! Stay...

[Sonic runs away, and Tails flies behind him. They run through a sign that says, STAY TUNED, and leave Sonic and Tails-shaped holes in it.]

Sonic: Oof! Tuned.

[The screen fades to black, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says[]

[Tails is under a tree, where Mayor Chestnut from "Magnificent Sonic" is seen sitting on a branch.]

Tails: Hey, come here, little guy!

[Sonic runs up to Tails.]

Sonic: Hold it, Tails! Don't touch that squirrel! He might bite!

[As Sonic talks to Tails, Mayor Chestnut climbs up the tree.]

Sonic: You should never try to touch or pick up a wild animal, or even a pet you don't know!

[As Sonic continues talking to Tails, a wild dog walks past Sonic and Tails, sniffing the ground.]

Sonic: You might accidentally frighten it, causing it to bite you to protect itself!

[The wild dog barks at Robotnik as it chases him.]

Robotnik: Down, boy!
Sonic (to the viewers): Play it safe with safe with animals you don't know! Don't touch! Sonic Says!
Transcripts

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